Monday, April 15, 2013

The Potty Training No One Talks About

Maybe no one talks about it because we are just special and the first to encounter this. Maybe no one talks about it because it is downright disgusting.  I dont know.

Maya and Bobby started potty training a year ago and, for the most part, Maya got it down pretty much right away.  She will use peeing in her pants almost as a way to fight back when she is pissed off (no pun intended) but she is pretty much the I-have-to-go-so-I-go kiddo.  If she's really involved she might forget and have an accident but then she'll actually cry about it because it upsets her so much.

Bobby was a bit harder.  A huge part of that was the communication barrier and, because he still is very much an early 2 year old in his language skills, it can be hard for him to get the word out that he needs to go.  (It doesnt help that he uses the word "Stinky" for both peeing and pooping, as well as when he's ticked off at you, as in "Stinky Mommy", "Stinky Daddy", or even "Stinky insert-inanimate-object-here.")  But, with the help of his teachers and therapists who do their best to understand him and help him out at school as well as doing our best at home to make sure that we ask, listen, and watch, it's a journey that is winding down to pull ups only at night.  (And never have you seen a kid so excited as when he got to wear underwear to school for the first time! He was thrilled!).  He likes his underwear and wants his underwear, so that is a huge incentive for him to always go potty (he also loves his favorite pants and shorts and an accident means we pick out his clothes and we purposely dont choose favorites, so that's another ticket for him.)

Which brings us to this thing no one talks about.

We're down to pull ups at night, as I said before.  Bobby likes to be naked, so during the winter, we actually had the feet of 1 piece PJs sewed on backwards and put him in the PJs in reverse (zipper in back) so he couldnt strip.  Otherwise, the bed would be wet in the morning and there would be pull up and jammies all over the place.  Problem solved.  But now, as we are getting to the more verbal part of his life and he wants to tell us he needs to go to the bathroom ("Stinky Potty"), as well as the weather warming up, we opted to go into summer PJ mode, which means no more zippers and 1 piece fleece jammies.

The first few nights were fine.  Two nights ago, we hear him talking (this was just after they went to bed) and when Peter gets in there, literally, the shit hit the fan (well, the bed).  Bobby was naked, there was poop EVERYWHERE on his sheets, blankets, lovey bear, PJs...  Everywhere except the pull up.  He must have stripped naked and, my thought, wanted to go the bathroom, but instead, the bed...  Yuck.  Peter reshowered Bobby, who was a mess, and I stripped the bedding and cleaned everything before putting it in the wash (not exactly how you want to wind down and go to bed).

Last night?  Pretty much a repeat.

Uhhhh.... This isn't okay.  It's gross, people.  And it's not a good way to end the night.  There is a potty run pre-bed, so maybe we need to try and keep him on the toilet a little longer since it seems he's moved from afternoon/early evening pooping to bedtime pooping, but that being said- anyone else go through this with a kid?  Helpful hints?  (Other than paying the overpriced cost for lightweight, 1 piece PJs and sewing the feet on backwards, which really doesnt help when you are potty training at night.)


Leah said...

Yes, yes, yes, I also go through many of the things you mention here.

TT also potty trained very quickly, and uses going potty in her underwear as a tool. She's mad, upset about something, she'll do it on purpose. I thought I was alone in this?! And then there is the stripping. TT still needs a diaper at night for the most part. But here's the thing, she also strips, and I tried the backwards PJ's, and she screamed until I fixed them. She acted like I put her in a straight jacket! So, at least 5 times a week, she'll go potty in her diaper and then remove it cause she can't stand having a diaper on, and then she'll go potty all over her bedding. I am washing her bedding constantly! So frustrating. She has ruined many pillow pets and stuffed animals from all the pee!

So, unfortunately I have no solutions, but can't wait to hear if you get any other follow up comments. We can't be alone in this, right?

Kate said...

We just got Della a one piece zip up sun suit, short sleeve, short pants, lightweight, STRETCHY and could absolutely go on backwards.... just a thought.
Best of luck to you--

I hear *so many* poop stories, I simply ache for you and will put this off for a while longer here.

sunflowerchilde said...

I haven't been through this yet, so I don't have any helpful hints, but I did want to say that it's not true no one talks about it! I've heard about these types of stories many many times, so I don't think it's that uncommon. On one blog I read about quadruplets, the mom used to duct tape the diapers on her quads so they couldn't take them off, but that sounds awfully hard for doing the actual diaper changes later. Not to mention difficult if Bobby managed to make it to the toilet and then couldn't get the diaper off. So I really don't know. Good luck!!!!

Anonymous said...

We went through this! It was horrible. We finally ended up using duct tape on the bedtime diapers, since we couldn't find any other way to get our daughter to keep the diapers on. We'd just tape it on (with a long strip that went all the way around and ended in the back, so she couldn't peel it off), and explain to her that we would cut it off when she needed to go potty. I definitely felt a bit weird about taping my kid's diaper on, but I realized that it was much, much better than having my child get sh** all over her bed, blankets, walls, loveys, etc . . .

mon said...

Can you retrain him for #2 to go in the morning or early in the day rather at night? Then he would not have the need to go at night...?? Just a thought

Kim said...

What about putting a "training potty" in his room for a couple of nights or so? Perhaps the act of relaxing in bed, beginning to fall asleep triggers the urge to GO.

Is it that he has to GO, but since he's already been put to bed doesn't want to get up or doesn't have the verbal skills to let you know?

Ideally you don't want him pooping in his room, but if you have to choose going in the port-a-potty or in his bed and all over everything else...well, it seems like an easy decision.

Use this time to try and identify the "trigger", if you will, and then begin adjusting bedtime routines as necessary.

Just my 2 cents from a mom who experienced this many, many years ago. :)

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

We have attaining potty in our sons room and I'm hoping that will work for him. Good luck!

Amelia said...

I wish I had some advice for you, I'm sorry I don't. We've only had to deal with this once, G had never had any accidents so we were putting her to bed in undies and apparently one night she pooped and...didn't get up? slept through it? Unknown, but in the morning it was everywhere and she had a horrible rash from it. We're back to diapers at night, but we've never had a repeat, knock on wood. I hope you get some good advice because if it happens again, I'm coming here.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Oh my, I hope you can get this worked out very quickly. That is not something you want to do every night!

Debbie said...

Duck tape the diaper. I had to do this with my son. I actually used medical tape, but i put it all around his waist. I only had to do it a few times before he realized that he was not supposed to take his diaper off at bedtime, or int eh middle of the night. Because my son was younger, we would also put a onesie on him and safety pin the crotch. I presume your son is a little too big for this to work. When my girls were little, i was surprised to learn that nighttime bed wetting or the need for a diaper is quite old - up to age 8 for girls and 10 for boys! I am certain that at this point in time that you are more concerned with containing the mess than keeping him dry at night. Good luck. I too have had my son's room decorated w his poop!

Reagan and Trevor's Mommy said...

Maybe buy second hand lightweight pjs and just cut the feet off?