Bobby and Maya will be 9 in a month. It's crazy to even write that. (It was crazier to celebrate Nicholas and Sophia's 10th birthday and to know that Alexander's is mere months away...) Michael turned 5 last month... Lucas turns 3 in 6 weeks or so... Ana hit her first birthday at the end of April. It dawned on me as I checked in here that I didn't even write a birth story for Ana.
So much stays the same and yet... So much changes.
This place is so dear to my heart and yet my time is so limited that I rarely can update. I can promise to do better, but all I can really say is "I will try". It's not that I don't care. It's not that my pain went away. It's not that life is all sunshine and roses. But a life not trapped within a confined wall of grief is my new normal; there are too many children and too much going on for it to be otherwise.
You will notice that the web address to this site has changed. It's no longer http://mylifeafterloss.blogspot.com (although typing that will get you here). As part of the revamping of Mending Heart Bellies (more to come on that in a second), this space now resides at: http://blog.mendingheartbellies.org. It's my hope that, not only will it reach more people who will be helped by my journey, but that also by integrating it into MHB, I will find a way to update it more regularly.
MHB initially started as a way for me to work with bereaved families who were trapped in a nightmare and needed someone to hold their hands while they navigated a place they had never dreamed existed. As the years have gone by, it has morphed and grown. I am proud to say that MHB is more than just a place for bereavement, but that it is also a place to grow. We provide a variety of services now, even though my heart is still very much with the loss and bereavement community.
Life is full and yet there is still that hole in my heart that finds solace in memories and the dreams I had for my children who have predeceased me. I hope that time gives me the change to share more of this life with you as the road ahead unwinds.