6

Six. That's the number of follicles I saw on the ultrasound this morning. Now, to be fair, they weren't all huge. The two tops were 17mm and 16mm, with one at 14mm, and three at 12mm. The smaller ones are too small to ovulate at this point. But still. It was a little freaky seeing those six not-so-small black dots on the screen. (For reference, my "resting" follicles are 3mm-5mm, so a 12mm looks large next to them!). I just spoke to my nurse, and although my LH is rising (a funny note below about LH), I have not surged. They want me to do another Gonal-F tonight (262.5) and then I am back tomorrow afternoon for more bloodwork and an ultrasound. If the LH surges on its own, then Friday is the big day; if not, then I will inject with the Ovidrel tomorrow night for Saturday. Regardless, this weekend is it. And, chances are, I will ovulate two eggs. Of course, there is no way to know that for sure until the first progesterone test, which (regardless of whether O is Friday or Saturday) will be next Friday. Of course, there is currently the risk that the Gonal-F might mature follicle number 3 into an ovulatory range. I have to admit, the thought scares me. I will be grateful for whomever we are blessed with and, since we are actively trying to conceive, I wont complain that multiple follicles are developing. But I am afraid. Yet, I think I'd end up writing the same words if only one follicle was happily growing strong.

On a funny, LH story. I heard "42" but our doctor got a kick out of it when I said that this morning. What she said was "4.2". On our answering machine, as the words came together, it sounded ten times as high! So thank you all for your comments about ranges, etc. It looks like I gave you bad information!

In your prayers today, please think of a couple in Telford, PA that recently buried their twin boys. We were made aware of them last night, as a parishioner asked us to contact the couple with our Mary, Help of Orphaned Parents ministry. Their little boys were born premature and passed away. The couple is, as we all know, destroyed by the loss.

On a sad note, I was delivering books to a local middle school. I hadn't seen the librarian there since Alexander was born. As I unpacked the bag, she told me how sorry she was... That she didn't realize why I was out on medical leave... That she'd meant to contact me but didn't know what to say. I have to admit, I didn't quite know how to respond. With work these days, I'm just in a zone. I said something along the lines of "these things happen" and then went on about the books I was dropping off. I've felt bad since I saw her an hour ago. I just sent her an email, thanking her for her condolences and explaining that sometimes my "work face" doesn't allow for me to express my feelings during the day, but that I appreciated her remembrance of our children. The one thing I don't want to ever do is make people feel uncomfortable for mentioning our children. I'm angry at myself for not responding better in person.

Tomorrow will probably be a long day... I have a full morning at work, then I leave for Dr. Lee's, then I'm back to work for a full night. And Friday starts off with a meeting. I'm actually leaving early, in the event that Friday is the big day. If not, I'll be napping my afternoon away!