5dpo

Well, today the cramping seems to have gone away. Imagine that! It, along with the nausea, were present this morning (and kept me out of church... AGAIN) but, they were gone by 8:30am, and hence I am at work and feeling quite good actually. Still tired, but physically okay.

Do I worry now that I'm not feeling anything? No... I can't control what has already happened. I'm either pregnant or I'm not. Obsessing won't change that. I have my appointment tomorrow, which will confirm what we already know: yes, I ovulated. I'm not exactly sure why I have to go, to be honest. I'm already on progesterone supplements. I already know I ovulated multiple eggs, so in theory, the progesterone will be higher than my average. I realize it "might" pinpoint how many eggs ovulated, which would be good to know. But otherwise, it doesn't really prove anything. I used to think it could predict whether I was pregnant or not, but that isn't really true. I guess, in the spin of things, it does mean that I am a week from the hCG test. So that countdown begins in earnest (as if it hasn't already).

We missed our CSS class last night. Bummer... There was 5-car accident on the highway. Unfortunately, there really isnt another way to get there (that doesnt take twice as long in rush hour). We have 2 routes, but to get to either, we take the highway. When that is a parking lot, we are kind of screwed. So, I called and left a message. Our case worker emailed me today, saying that they completely understand and that we can take the make-up in May. What does this mean? It means we now sit on our hands until mid-May. According to our introductory meeting, the paperwork can't be completed until you have passed all your classes. Great. Wonderful. So we have another class on Monday, then nothing for 2 months. Talk about the wheels turning slow. On a positive note, another background check came in, so we can pass that on and at least get our folder ready for May.

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring. I can't wait. It's raining here (which I don't mind... I love the gray, rainy days that are in the 60s best of all...). April showers bring May flowers...

I brought "Alexander's dinner" with me for lunch. Tuna fish sandwiches and tomato soup. We ate that at least 3 times a week. We probably were somewhere around 4 or 5 sometimes. I just craved TF and TS incessently! And not just any way. The TF had to be made like Peter's grandfather made it: with celery salt and white, Wonder bread. (I know... I hadn't eaten white bread in forever and then I made Peter go buy a loaf.) And the TS had to be Campbell's. None of the healthy, organic soup we had in our cabinet. Nope. Campbell's. And not the low fat or low sodium kind, either. Of course, it had to be made with milk. Prima dona... I know... So, I made the same for lunch today (sans the white bread... we only keep wheat in the house...) Washed it down with a mug of raspberry leaf tea. Missing all my little ones today, but especially little Alex... my cuddlebug and thumbsucker. I'm looking at his picture right now. It's amazing how much Peter sleeps that way when he is napping, hands on chest, head to one side...

I had some level of energy the early part of the day. Now, I'm back to feeling like I cant keep my eyes open. Better get back to work...