Thursday, February 28, 2013


Well, it's finally here!  Our last full day without Peter!  He should be home sometime tomorrow afternoon, around 3:30-4:30.    Around 2am (Eastern Time), say a prayer that his flight home is a safe one! 

Last night... well, it started out okay.  And then, I had to go and screw it up.  Maya is almost OCD in her love of routine and I mixed up 2 things... and the waterworks began.  I think a lot of it is the anxiety and missing of Peter; she had a crying spell in class today and when they asked her why, she said she missed him.  Her teacher (who knew he was away) smiled and said that he'd be home tomorrow, and she said Maya perked right up.  In the car, I asked her how her day was and she told me she cried because she missed Daddy.  So sad.  So, I think last night may have just been the start of where-the-heck-is-dad for her and when I screwed up the routine, it just added insult to injury.  They were in bed around 8:50 but, between then and 10pm, I was back in twice- for her.  Bobby was fine and fell asleep with relative ease, but Maya was crying quietly and just really upset.  I'd get her calm and stroke her hair and leave, and then a few minutes later, hear her sobbing into her pillow.  The last time I went in, I just stayed there until I was sure she was asleep.

At 2:35am, I heard Bobby wake up and I went to check him and, sure enough, he was wet.  I changed him and snuggled him and, within 10 minutes was back in bed, listening on the monitor as he sang.  And sang. And sang.  This, punctuated by chants of "Dad, Dad, Dad," over and over again.  He wasnt unhappy or crying (so, we normally wouldnt intervene and would just let him work himself to sleep).  There would be 10-15 minutes of this and then 10-15 minutes of silence.  Just as I'd get ready to doze, it would start again.  For 2 hours.  Maya woke up at one point and, no joke, told Bobby to go to sleep.  It was kind of funny.  Although, once he fell asleep and I heard his even breathing on the monitor and I was drifting off, Maya started crying and saying "Mama".  I went in, and she had had a nightmare.  I got her bear for her (it had moved out of reach and, in the dark, she couldn't find it), and rubbed her back until she fell asleep, then I went back to bed. Between 4:30am and 6:30am, when I finally gave up and took a shower, I was in their room 8 times.  I dont know if they were awake for every crying fit or if they were crying in their sleep, and each intervention only took 2-3 minutes, but to say I was tired... Well, as Sarah says, it's good training for a newborn!

Sarah's been a dear, putting her own life on hold to stay here, but poor Bobby is done with being hospitable.  Usually, he begs her not to leave and practically holds her here when she's getting her stuff to go (she visits once-twice a week); for the last 2 nights, he's been trying to get her out the door!  I think he's finally put two and two together that if Aunt Sarah is spending the night, then that means that Daddy isn't here.  If he can get rid of her, then Dad will come home! :) 

Tonight, we're going to our favorite gourmet pizzaria to say "thanks" to Sarah; I figure it's a nice way to end our week without Peter and the kids know (and keep telling me) how Daddy will be home tomorrow!!!!  So, this will be the real 'last' day without him, even though he wont get home until the day is mostly over tomorrow.  Maya has already planned Saturday, telling me that it is going to be a "Daddy Day".  That man is definitely loved!

Having him gone was worse in some ways and easier in some ways; it really was a huge eye opening experience for me, and I think I've grown as a mom- in good ways.  That being said, I cant wait to wrap my arms around him and tell him, face to face, how much I love him.

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