Tuesday, February 26, 2013


Well, we have survived another day without Peter at home!  While we definitely aren't where we are when he is home, last night was a better night.  We got through bath and bed, and Maya (as usual) went to bed without issue.  Bobby whined and then started crying when I was gone from the room.  Maya was so cute, trying to placate him, telling him it was going to be okay and to go to sleep.  After 5 minutes, and once the whines became actual cries, I went back in.  He kept saying, "Mama, hug?" so I leaned over and gave him a big hug and a smooch, then I tucked him in the way he likes and held his hand.  First, I tried sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall (I was just so tired) but the angle on my arm was hurting and I ended up having to stand up and lean against the wall (his bed is close to the corner).  I could tell he was on the verge of sleep and about that time I realized that I really REALLY had to go to the bathroom, so I gently slipped my hand away and snuck out.  I went to the bathroom on the other side of the kitchen to avoid making any extra noise, but I heard the whine start.  :(  The good news was that it didnt progress into a cry.  By the time I got to bed, I could hear him saying, almost like a mantra, "Mama... Mama... Mama... Dad... Dad... Dad..."  He'd alternate between them, and eventually time became longer and his voice faded until I had to have the monitor very high in order to hear anything.  Then, it was silent.  Sleep... It only took 45 minutes, which was huge considering the night before had been a disaster.

Bobby woke up at 1am, saying, "Mama, help," in a small little voice.  He repeated it twice, and so I got up and went to him.  He was wet, so I changed his pull-up and snuggled him a little bit, just holding him and cuddling him for a few minutes before giving him a kiss and putting him back to bed, tucking him in.  I held his hand for a few minutes and then rubbed his back.  He was still awake when I left and he whined for a few moments, but then just started talking to his bear quietly.  I figured, that if he began to cry, I'd go back but eventually his voice faded off.  By 2am, it was a very sporadic conversation with his bear and then, his mantra, tihs time, "Dad... Dad... Dad..." and then sleep.  Until 7:10am!  Amen!!!

I was up off and on, just with the whole go-to-the-bathroom-every-few-minutes, and got to text with Peter via Skype around 6am our time (it was close to lunch his time). 

I grabbed a shower before the kids were up, then they watched Sprout while I made waffles.  We headed off to school and all was well until we got there, when Bobby whined and didnt want out of the car.  His teacher is out sick today but his favorite aide met us at the car.  She assured me he'd be fine and they disappeared into the building.  An hour ago, his teacher emailed me.  She'd texted the aide for an update, and wanted to let me know all the kids, Bobby included, were very happy and all was well.  How lovely these women are...  Just so sweet...

Today is our halfway mark through Peter's journey abroad.  It has been hard but not nearly as hard as I'd suspected.  And I know, in many ways, I bring the hard times on myself by my outlook.  I'm not, by nature, a patient person and I know that my lack of patience makes things appear more than they can be.  It's something that became apparent to me last Saturday (that's another post for another day) and I'm trying very hard to turn over a new leaf with regards to my patience (or lack thereof) and make it an act of maternal love to try and just keep my cool, no matter what goes down.  It's a struggle, but I am trying to take each day as its own journey and trying to be the best mom I can be- whether Peter is here or not.  With him away, it definitely makes it easier to realize my faults and to want to work on them even harder.

1 comment:

Queenie said...

Oh, me too on the patience!! It's so hard. But I don't want my girls to be impatient like me, so I'm really working on it. Glad things are going okay without Peter.