I'm not going to post all their pictures on this blog. I will include a link to the photo blog so that anyone who is interested can pop over and see them when they are updated. I will only put select ones that deal with the post at hand on this blog. I just dont want folks to get bogged down with pics and, ultimately, this is a blog about living after losing children; not a photo album (hence the other blog), but thank you for bearing with me as I work with this blog primarily and havent had a chance to devote a lot of time to the other blog yet.
Yesterday was a great pumping day! I actually got up to 15ml (cc). This is great for day 3 of pumping. I was disappointed on day 2 because production was low, but Dr M, my mom, and Peter's mom all assured me that it took them between 4-7 days to get anything in and they had full term babies. So not to worry. And, sure enough, come day 3, boom! This morning's 7am pumping garnished 17ml! I am in the biggest syringes at this point and they gave me the preemie bottles to start using once I am over 20ml at a pumping.
The babies were doing so well. Bobby is still kicking out of his little restrainer (which, I have to admit, although it drives the nurses nuts, we think is so cute). His heartbeat still is dipping at times, but it is kind of funny. One of the nurses said that it always happens when she is doing something and by the time she gets her gloves on and comes to him (in moments, we've seen them), he is fine. Is our little boy still playing attention getter? They are planning to do another echo on Bobby. They did an x-ray to make sure his lines werent bothering his heart and that seemed normal. So, we shall see. Maya inherited my veins it seems, much to our dismay. They tried again, unsuccessfully, to get a PICC in. They had to do something since she is, in the words of her nurse, "blowing her IVs daily". So they put in a venus catheter. (An IV is a needle that is harder so it can only go as far as the needle is long and the arm (or whatever) must be kept straight. A catheter is a flexible tube that is fed through the vein (in this case) and allows for movement. A PICC would be a cetheter that makes it to the heart and is a long term solution. Maya's catheter starts in her hand and goes past her elbow, but they couldnt get it any farther.) But afterwards, she was utterly exhausted. She just fell asleep and slept for hours. My poor baby girl. Broke my heart.
But the best news... Can you guess? What is the next best thing to bringing the babies home? Guess... Do you know???
Mommy and Daddy holding Bobby for the first time
We got to hold our babies!!! The nurse told Peter at a visit when I wasnt there (due to the pain meds) and so he made sure that I was all pumped in advance and not taking anything prior to the time we went up. Maya was still passed out from her experience and the nurse apologized to Peter but said that Bobby was up for it. I had no idea what they were talking about and then Peter gave me an open front robe. And it hit me. I looked at the nurse and she confirmed that I was going to hold our son for the first time. I burst into tears right there. Because of the jaundice issues, we were limited to half an hour, but it was so wonderful. We just held him, sang to him, cried... There arent words... Peter fed them my breast milk (via a syringe that is connected to the feeding tube) and they held his finger. Both of them fell asleep. Bobby was so comfortable that, when the nurse put him back in his isolette, he didnt fight or kick, he just laid steady and went back to sleep. Maya was so relaxed and when they turned the CPAP off to put her back in her isolette, she desat-ed and had a bradycardia episode. They put her back on and she was fine and when they disconnected her again, she did much better. She was just shocked the first time. She needs the pressure from the CPAP more than Bobby (he can tolerate no pressure with no issues for about 20 minutes; she can only for about 5 minutes). They are planning on lowering her pressure from 6 to 5 today or tomorrow. So she is improving, but still working.
Well, I will post more in the day 4 post (which I promise to do!). But this sums up our yesterday, which was such a good day. There are also some other emotions I want to talk about, but I will save those for my day 4 post.
Thank you for the continued thoughts and prayers!