Dr B discussed our situation with the cardiologist and our MFMs... The cardiologist wants us to continue the twice daily monitoring and to have ultrasounds twice a week. When I spoke to Dr B today, I asked if we could do the monitoring with a home monitor and email the results to him and then go a quarter of a mile to an outpatient center of our local hospital to have imaging done. No go... The u/s's have to be administered by a MFM because most people can miss the first signs of hydrops and the images arent always clear when sent over. So, that kaiboshed that. On top of this, the MFMs want me to have twice weekly NSTs beginning, you guessed it, at 28w. So... no home. On a very positive note, Dr B said that he would be okay with giving me a day pass at 30w so that I can attend my baby shower with Peter's mom. (The un-shower has been canceled and our friends invited to my MIL's shower. So, I will take that as my victory. Dr B said that, it is possible, if the arrythymia goes away, then I might be cleared to go home but that he doubted it, and that it is possible I could go home at 32w... That we will take one day at a time. And really, that is all that we can do. I mean, let's be honest. Even if this is overkill, there is no way we would risk our babies. Every day inside is a better day. If going home screws with that... If it runs the risk of Bobby or Maya getting hurt... No. Not worth it. At worst, I am looking at less than 70 days in the hospital. Less than 10 more weeks. My babies are the most important thing... way more than my mental happiness right now. I'll just read a few more (maybe a few dozen more) books, drink my water, write... and talk to the babies. I'm okay with that.
Thank you for the continued prayers and generosity. You are all so wonderful. A special thanks to Donna. I cannot tell you the emotions that flooded me last night. My husband unloaded the mail and there was a package. I opened it to find these.
A dusty rose and slate blue infant cap. Knitted with love by another mom who is currently pregnant after a loss. Another mom who gets the day by day and the constant hoping and praying. And, in her time, she made these and sent them with a beautiful card. I just fingered the beautiful rows. These will be their first caps. I will place them on those beautiful heads with love and know that others love them too... And that will burst my heart even more.
As we all struggle through our days, I think that sometimes people are put in our paths to show us the way. As I mourn my own three children and worry about the two that are busy in my womb right now, I mourn with another family who have lost their third child. Their daughter was stillborn, followed by a full term son who passed away suddenly, and now... another full term son who passed away days after birth. This family needs your hugs and prayers. Please visit them and leave them the love you so graciously show our family.