Day 47: T-5

Happy Labor Day! (I keep telling the babies whenever I hear that phrase that it does NOT mean "happy birthday" for them!)

This morning's HB scan was the best we've had in the last 13 days. He actually had 5 periods of nearly 1 min each where his HB was completely normal. No arrythymia, no missed beats, and a normal range. It was wonderful to hear. In between, he had his seconds of normalacy as well, but we were really impressed with the long periods. We still have a long way to go, but I am really hoping and praying that he is growing out of this. Dr. B. came and talked to Peter and I about how he thinks it is going, but explained that the MFMs are the best source of info on this specific issue. He said that, right now, we will be having 2 MFM scans to check the babies' hearts (plus one scan will include a cervical measurement) and then the daily BPPs with the resident on duty, until this dissolves or it seems like no new information is being gathered.

The babies are both very active these last few days, especially right now. Cravings are back in full swing. Can we cheeseburgers???

I'm finding that I more and more times where I just want to be alone and reflect on our children... I think of Nicholas, Sophia, and Alexander and just want to remember each second and feel them over again. They dont always bring tears, although sometimes they do. It's more as though, as this pregnancy progresses, I need the time to have them all here with me. I dont know if that makes sense or not. I know that I cant go back in time and have my cervix play nicely and things end differently. But I still feel like so much of my pregnancies with them was taken away... That their lives here was cut so terribly short... That I need the time I have right now to just focus on them and give them life in the moment. Like I said... Probably doesnt make sense.

Because I am obsessed with my goals today...

5d to 28w!

2w5d to 30w and my shower!

4w5d to our 32w goal!

8w5d to full term at 36w and my cerclage removal!

Total: 61 days to go...

It's crazy as these days get fewer and fewer. Sometimes it seems like yesterday that we came into the hospital and, as I type in the day in the title line, it seems crazy that we are at almost 50. Assuming 36w, that will be 108 days in the hospital. I keep telling myself that I would rather I spend 108 days in the hospital than Bobby and Maya spend even one day in the NICU. I realize that because of this heart issue that we will be here a few days after birth no matter what and that they babies will be monitored, but you all know what I mean.

Well, it is that special blood sugar time... Seems like it always is, doesnt it? (But, on a good note, my scores were decent yesterday and this morning!)

And... For your viewing pleasure...