Health wise, I am doing okay. I am low on the pain medication scale, which is good and bad. It's good from an "I dont like drugs" standpoint and from being able to manage my pain for the most part. It's bad in the sense that I am in a lot of pain sometimes. I dont do well with narcotics at all, so taking the meds make me feel sick and knock me out. I have to take an anti-nausea drug to combat the painkillers, so that just adds to the pot. I had a dose this morning, then one at 4:30 when I was in so much pain that I couldnt go to the NICU. I took a nap afterwards and then got my butt to the NICU at 6pm. After half an hour, I started to feel woozy and had to sit down. I left around 6:45 and came back to the room and rested. I think a lot of it was a lack of eating/drinking plus the drugs. I hadnt eaten a lot of lunch because I felt sick from the meds and when I came downstairs, I had to lay down. Peter held me and helped me pump. I felt pretty rotton. At 8:15, he went upstairs for the drop off and I left at 8:55 to get there in time for the 9pm babycare.
When I walked in, the first thing I saw was a doctor and nurse, in sterile wear, standing over Maya, with Peter watching. I nearly had a heart attack. I rushed Peter and asked what was going on, and meanwhile could hear Maya crying. Oh, how it broke my heart. He explained that they were trying to get a PIC line in to replace her IV. Her tears and crying... One of the free nurses brought me a chair and I sat down and just cried. The doctor came over and said that, unfortunately, they couldnt get the line in and would try again later. We went over to her and the nurse said that it was good that she was crying and fighting because that meant she was aware and alert. But it was so hard on us... She gave us a technique to hold her without really being able to (by cupping her head and her feet. I did this and it seemed to calm her as we talked to her. I sat by her isolette and sang lullabies to her until she fell asleep, my hands in this position, and her little hand and foot touching each on my hands and curling around what she could grab. It was heaven, being able to comfort my little girl in this way. Peter went to be with Bobby while I was with Maya. He gave him his pacifier and held him and sang to him, calming him in his frustrations as the nurses cleaned his IV materials. Peter also changed his diaper (and Bobby peed on his clean diaper!) and took his temperature. We waited until he was calm and then said our goodnights. The nurse told us that we could call anytime.
Here are some pictures from today. They are mostly of the babies with their CPAPs but you can see one or two of each without. They are so beautiful and we are so proud of them!