In My Head

My car's CD player isnt working (and it's holding 5 of my CDs hostage... Not cool!)  So, although I'm normally an NPR kind of girl, I've been in the mood for music.  I can honestly say I'm not up-to-date with what ranks as 'music' today (I admit it...) but I had the local Christian station on.  Those who know me, know that I'm not the "Halleluja Jesus" type girl; I actually am not a fan of contemporary Christian music.  I've been to a Point of Grace concert (when I was pregnant with Alexander) because Peter likes the band and has some of their CDs.  But it's not my thing.  If I want "Jesus music", I probably want something written a few hundreds years ago, most likely not in English.  (Pie Jesu anyone???).  And, honestly, I prefer Dead Can Dance to the artists featured on The Word FM.  But, I'm open minded.  And, with the kids in the car, I definitely dont want "F-U this" or "b-tch" or other words coming out of the blue.  And, like I said, I wasnt feeling NPR.  So, contemporary Jesus music won out. 

And I found this treasure...  To the point that, by the end of the song, I was teary eyed.  I'll admit it.  It hit a little close to home.

Now, I'm a believer in the Great Spirit appearing to each of us in a way that we can respond and take in.  For us.  I've danced in my fair share of sacred drumming circles and felt Spirit present.  I've been to thousands of Sacrifices of the Mass and Divine Liturgy's and have been moved by the presence of the Most High.  I've hugged trees, chanted incantations, and felt overcome by the Divine Grace that moved from outside to within.  I'm openminded.  I view All That Is Holy without a need for a specific name or creed, and I work with what resonates with me.  And for me. 

And these words?  They are it for right now.  And they are stuck in my head.

We pray for blessings; we pray for peace. Comfort for family, protection while we sleep. We pray for healing, for prosperity.  We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.  All the while, You hear each spoken need, yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.  'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears?What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear; and we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near.  We doubt Your goodness.  We doubt Your love as if every promise from Your Word is not enough. All the while, You hear each desperate plea and long that we'd have faith to believe.  'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears?  What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us... When darkness seems to win... We know that pain reminds this heart that this is not, this is not our home. It's not our home.

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?  What if Your healing comes through tears? And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?  What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy?  And what if trials of this life- the rain, the storms, the hardest nights- are Your mercies in disguise?

("Blessings" by Laura Story)