Warmer Weather, ToddlerBabies, and Thin Shorts

Another one of those "I dont want to break it up" posts...  I feel like a rambling woman with dementia... Or, the toddlerbrained woman I am...

Thank you for warmer weather!  We've been able to go out for walks several times this week!!!  And today, Maya is in a sundress and Bobby is in a one piece short outfit.  A-W-E-S-O-M-E-.  What's not awesome?  80 degrees in April... I'd be happy for short sleeves and light pants... 70ish degrees... But, right now, it's not snowing, so I'll take it.

Me?  I'm in my thin shorts... That are so freaking huge they wont stay up without the tightest rung on one of Peter's belts (because I dont have belts).  Yeah.  This is my only pair of shorts because I refused to buy over a 36 (they are men's hiking shorts).  I bought them about 7 years ago.  I wore them once... and then, put them on for the first time in that 7 years a few weeks ago.  They fit, but were slightly tight around the middle.  Now?  They fall off.  They are loose- even with the belt.  It's quite nice, but I realize that I really cant wear them.  I'll have to get new ones- and that scares me.  Me?  In shorts?  That hasn't happened in a very long time...

Edit@10:40am: I took the kids for a quick outting to Kohl's.  I had a 20% off coupon and needed to get a shrug for my Easter dress as well as look for some shorts for them (since they dont have summer clothes at all and 20% of clearance at Kohl's is cheaper than the consignment store).  I got them each 5 outfits (all $5-$8 each, which is OUTSTANDING!!!), a shrug for me, and... a pair of running shorts...in medium...that fit with room in the waist, but perfect through the bum and thighs...  running shorts... like real runners have... I'll be trying them out this afternoon in our nearly 80 degree (anticipated) weather...  Slightly nervous but psyched too!


Update@3:50pm: took the kids in the jogger for a 3m run... in my new shorts!  I'm not sure if it is just the nature of the beast or my modesty issues, but I was constantly pulling at them.  But, in good news, there was no chaffing and they were comfortable!

I've crossed the 175 threshold.  Yesterday morning saw 174.5.  15 pounds until I'm a normal height-to-weight ratio...  Less than 25 pounds until my final goal weight.  It's pretty amazing to think that I'm in the "third trimester" of this journey so far...  Wow...  Pretty darn cool...

I'm often lamenting how quickly Bobby and Maya are growing up.  Bobby drinks out of his cup like a champion and barely drips, if at all.  He's learning to lull himself to sleep.  Maya has been going to bed on her own for quite a bit and is getting better at her cup, although she loves to pull it and slosh it all over her.  Have I mentioned she also loves to change her clothes???  She'll strip so that I have to redress her.  And, if I'd let her, she'd go through 4 or 5 outfits a day.  I sometimes wonder if she screws around with the cup just to get a new outfit...  But, I digress... Yesterday gave me a piece of my babies back and, although I know these moments quickly become fleeting, it was a reminder of the two little ones that came into my life nineteen months ago.

Yesterday, Bobby woke from his nap, an hour in.  (Normally, a nap is 2 hours, at least).  Peter went to him, as he was crying, and he cried harder.  I approached the door and he leapt into to my arms.  He balanced his forehead under my chin and clung to me.  I laid in my recliner and he snuggled against me and fell back to sleep.  He peacefully woke after about 20 minutes, for a 10 minute lovefest, where he smiled at me, cooed, and was all around, the cutest kid in the world.  Then, back to sleep.  10 minutes later, I put him back in his bed, and he had a total of a 2.5 hour nap.

Last night, Maya woke around midnight, which is odd for her.  That girl SLEEPS!  She wasn't wining, but was screaming. Nightmare screaming.  Peter went into her, and thus began an hour+ cycle of sleep for a few, scream for a few, sleep for a few, scream for a few.  No matter what the poor guy tried, it wasnt working.  I havent slept well in 2 days (the stomach issues leading up to CD1 yesterday were NASTY!), and was just praying she'd go to bed so that I could go to sleep (or at least try).  Finally, I got up and went into her room.  She reached for me and laid her head down.  A moment later, I laid down with her, in her bed. She slept soundly, as long as she laid flat on my chest.  Is this the same girl who kicks me out of her room at night so she can go to bed like a big girl???   If I moved her, she was fitful, plagued by invisible ghosts of the night.  But, on me, she was peaceful... Safe... Unafraid.  I laid awake until dawn peeked through her window.  Am I tired now?  You bet... But is there something incredible about your child believing you can keep the demons at bay?  After the week of guilt over their eyes, your damn right there is.

No matter how big they seem to be right now, it opens my eyes to see just how tiny they still are... How tiny they will always be in my heart...

I love them so very much; my heart melts and overflows.  Every.Single.Day.