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I was talking to Peter the other day, and the conversation turned to the yearly get together of mothers who have lost children. I was commenting that, perhaps, I'd try to get there at some point, since the east coast gathering is in NJ and we are so close. After some quiet time, Peter said, "What about the dads? When do they get together?"
And it struck me. They dont, do they? Is it because men dont always open up and talk about their grief? Is it because there is no one to organize it? If there was something organized, would men get together? What would they do? (Does it matter???)
***
My wrists still hurt. :( And I have a headache. :( Time to hit the Advil... Especially if I want to make yoga in 3 hours!
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Peter's mom ironed the Christening gown today... So beautiful. I cant believe we are almost there... In other news, I ordered their baptismal cards from the same place I ordered Nick, Sophie, and Alex's memorial cards. It is a great company.
(I edited out the last names of the godparents, hence the lack of centering in those lines)
I really love the cards. They are lovely and perfect. I have to finalize the catering, get the house clean, but in less than 2 weeks... The last of the baby organizing is over. I cant believe it. Our next "big deal" would be going to TN in June! (any Nashville bloggers want to get together at Noshville's for a meal- email me and we can organize a date!)
***
Well, the bambinos are getting fussy (and probably hungry!)...
Edit: They werent hungry! Bobby was sleeping but Maya was, eyes closed, bopping all around and socking him! Thanks to their dear Aunt Terri for the sleep sheep. Turned on the rain sound and, within 60 seconds- NO JOKE- she was settled and they are both enjoying an afternoon nap!!!
16 comments:
i have twin girls, our beka is a bear with teething i was at my wits ends and one night i bought those teething tablets in the baby department of walmart, target...wow they made the biggest difference for her they are "supposed to be all natural" and our ped said they were harmless it is much like a cup of chamolie tea for us.
I've heard the "white noise" goes a long way to soothe babies. Glad to see its working for Maya.
It's a tough thing, support groups for dads, because I'm sure that many of them wouldn't want to go for whatever reason, they should have it for parents instead of just mom so dads who do want to go can go.
Teething already?? My how time flies!
I just love the baptism card! They're so beautiful, and just so respectful of the babies and the occasion. I hope Bobby gets some relief soon!
I just discovered the rain noise last night(/morning) while I opened up my home medic sound spa. He quieted down thank goodness! Gotta love the rain!
Oh teething... I hope they come thru quickly and the tooth fairy is nice! :-)
Hubby and I have talked many times about a support type group for the guys living with infertility. He wouldn't go. Said it's not a guy thing to discuss. Guys, in general, are so much more closed off from others. Females are very much supporters {heck, it's hard for females to take that step and go to a group where they have no clue what to expect when airing their deepest hurts} of one another, for the most part, so I think it's just a biological thing. Unfortunately. Maybe if an online environment existed they would be more likely to participate anonymously??
I'm only 4 1/2 hours from Nashville, maybe just maybe hubby and I could make a weekend out of it as I'd love to get together and meet these babes!!! :-)
White noise (a small fan in his room) and Hyland's Teething Tablets worked wonders for AJ during teething. Also, dipping a qtip in liquid children's benadryl and rubbing it on their gums helps as well.
I firmly believe there should be a grief outing for fathers.
I only live 30 minutes from Nashville. I would absolutely love to meet for a meal! That would be awesome!
*knocking on wood* So far it seems like Colby is teething (gnawing on his hands, my fingers, drooling like a madman) but we have yet to see any indication of pain. I'm hoping we can get through this painlessly for all! :)
Colby loves his heartbeat bear! It definitely is the needed bit of help to soothe him when he's just a little fussy before sleeping. His roommate in the NICU had the Sleep Sheep and it worked wonders for that little guy!
Teething is no fun for anyone! Try Hyland Teething Tablets. They are all natural and help a lot. Also, Gentle Naturals Homeopathic Teething Drops. Good Luck! =]
I LOVE the sleep sheep! its the ONLY thing that got Aly to sleep when she was a newborn ... and now she really likes the rain and ocean sounds .. but she prefers the lullabies on her baby monitor .. those will calm her right down.. and I can play them from the parent unit which is great!!
"mechanical parenting" is what some call it .. but, I dont care .. its great! she gets right back to sleep and I dont have to disturb her.
Awwww. I'm so glad they like the sheep! Anything that can help a baby sleep is wonderful!
Hang in there with the teething. It doesn't last forever, I promise.
Beautiful baptismal card!!!! What a joyful day that will be for you and your family!!! HUGS!!!
I love the baptismal cards! I am googling this sleep sheep thing -- anything that helps babies sleep sounds good to me!
So sorry Bobby is having trouble with teething. I feel so bad for him. =( I hope he cuts those teeth soon and gets a little break before the next ones come in!
So about an hour ago I was here and went over to my For Your Tears page to get a link and now when I came back I realized I never got the link. I started adding names to the handkerchiefs mailed out, etc., etc.! Peter may have seen this but I want to send it just in case. http://forumforgrievingdads.com/
The cards look lovely. Very nice.
Sorry about the teething :(
We have been sleeping with a sound machine for maybe 10 years now. I am sure the sound would be wonderful for babies. Is there a professional name for them? I will go search for sleep sheep. Thanks.
the baptism cards are beautiful!
Hi Michele,
Fathers in my own personal experience sometimes suffer harder then some woman I have known. One in particular is 60 something years old and his daughter was born sleeping some 30 yrs ago. to this very day he won't hold a young baby. He always talks about his daughter and what she would be doing and so on. someone needs to have a group available or let it be a "Parents" group. Hugs to Peter and all grieving Parents, both Moms and Dads every where. Its hard being an Orphaned parent. (I learned the term from you, though orphaned long ago). xoxo, kandi ann. the new firefox deleted all my log in info. Still haven't gotten around to signing into gmail yet. hrmph. sorry.
Here is a link for your hsband. A fellow dead baby father. He is addressing this lack of support in one of his recent posts
http://rivalen-winkie.blogspot.com/
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