In Shock...

Before folks get excited by the post, no, I am not pregnant.

This morning, we took the long drive up to Dr. Lee's office. We had our consult and many of the reasons I adore Dr. Lee were so evident. The woman legitimately cares about her patients. We just sat and talked about everything that happened in Alexander's pregnancy and labor. She asked how we were doing and not just a glib "how are you" but one with dialogue and heartfelt concern. I told her that I didn't have a period afterwards and that I was producing a lot of cervical mucus, which I've only ever done when pregnant. She asked if I'd taken a test and I told her how I've not been able to score a positive even when pregnant, so I wasn't sure what the deal was. (There are a certain percentage of women who dont excrete hCG in urine so HPTs don't work... Always fun when you have an incompetent cervix to worry about!) So, she said that mucus could mean I need to shed a lining and menstruate before treatment begins, but that she would do bloodwork and an u/s just to make sure that a.) I'm not pregnant and b.) that I indeed have a lining to shed.

We went back to the familiar patient room and I assumed the position, so to speak, for an u/s. Well, there was definitely no little one in there, but in addition to a think, cushy lining, I am a 14mm follicle! With no hormone stimulation at all. Which means, ESTROGEN! I'm still in shock. In my right ovary, there is this mamajama follicle. She measured it several times and each time, it measured 14. With our twins, my follicles were 16mm and 18mm, and with Alexander, the follicle had gotten larger, to 2omm. With Dr. Lee, the average trigger is done around 18-20mm, but unmedicated cycles can trigger themselves anywhere after 14. I think she was as surprised as we were. The bloodwork should come back today, but if my LH has surged, then tonight may be the trigger shot. I am still in shock; I just can't believe it. I can't believe that, on my own, I have actually matured a follicle. I joked around in the office, but on the inside, I am so stunned. Even the voices in my head are quiet.

I prayed for a sign, a real, big, red lettered sign, from God to say "Try again." I feel like this really was that. But, even that being said, I am so stunned... So shocked... Could tonight really be the trigger??? It will, apparently, be this week. I don't know that I was expecting that. I think I expected either to start the 2 week cycle of injections today, which would put my trigger around March 1st or so, or to try and induce a period, which would take about 2 weeks, and then start the injections, which would put the trigger around mid-March. Not that I'm complaining; I'm just in such shock. My body doesn't do anything it is supposed to do. And now, suddenly, it decides to start functioning? Our little doctors at work, I suppose.

Dr. Lee says that she's seen this in PCOS patients. Typically, she said, some patients can ovulate on their own for a month or two and then, boom, back to infertile. Of course, most people get their first period a little sooner than 10+ weeks after giving birth. But, hey, I'll take it. I'll make sure to update once the bloodwork is returned. That's the big kicker, I think. It'll be a few hours, at least, I'm sure.

UPDATE: Nurse Amy called. Tonight, I am to give myself a 150 Gonal-F injection and then go back to the office early tomorrow morning for a re-test. I completely forgot to ask what my estrogen/progesterone levels were, but the GF and retest means no LH surge (yet).