I'm so frustrated. Why can't people think? I mean really think!
So, as you know, Peter has been working tirelessly on getting birth certificates issued for the kids. We are still on the journey for Nicholas and Sophia's certificates (we haven't gotten the paperwork yet to fill out on Alexander yet, but his will probably be just as much of a nightmare).
To back up: We filled out paperwork for the twins last year. Nicholas's was filled out in mid-February, Sophia's in mid-March. Months passed... No certificates. We contacted the state who informed us that the hospital never sent the paperwork. So months of back and forth with the hospital. My postings here and here ended the saga for the time being (back in August) with the hospital promising to send the paperwork and to expect them by the end of November. As you can imagine, we have been lax in following up and now, here we are, in February and still: no certificates.
Peter called the hospital in January and after several rounds of phone tag, finally spoke to the person. She verified that they sent off the paperwork and the state received it. So, they are done with their portion. She was very nice but couldn't help us further. So, Peter has been calling the Health Department and finally the woman there called back. And this is where the frustration really gets me.
They have the paperwork. They've had it for months.
The person who processed it saw that fetal death certificates were issued (which were incorrect: standard death certificates should have been issued). The certificates were required to do their cremations. Because the hospital didn't send in the birth certificates in a timely manner, whomever at the state handles death certificates did the wrong ones. When the person getting the death certificates did a search, they found those, and, rather than investigating to see what the issue was, they just filed them away! And did NOTHING! Even though we've been calling and calling, no one thought to do anything! So now, this poor woman (who has been very polite and is trying to be helpful) is left trying to pick up the pieces. This will mean rescinding the old death certificates and issuing a new one along with the birth certificates. And God only knows how much time all this will take.
Is it too much to ask that these things be done correctly??? I know it can't just be us. Other people out there must be going through this too. Does no one realize the extra stress and grief it places on a bereaved parent to have to fight for every little thing? Do hospitals think that, by delaying paperwork or waiting for a parent to ask for it, that they are helping? Even more frustrating is that because birth certificate info wasn't given at the time of Alexander's birth, his death certificate was also issued incorrectly.
I know other people are going through this, too. And I am so sorry. I realize that a piece of paper doesn't negate their lives or give them back, but it still matters to me. It's just something else that shows that our babies were real, live, human beings who lived beautiful lives. It's something that lives on far beyond my memories are gone and my mind has turned to mush. It's something tangible. It's part of the few things we have left.
I'm sure there will be more updates on this saga as they develop. Peter, wonderful man that he is, is handling the details and harassing the state, which is lucky for them. I'd be a raging nightmare (if they could even understand me through the tears...)