Sunday, November 25, 2018

Rescued? No.

So yesterday was supposed to be a great day.   Peter's birthday treat from me was a day away, up to Bethlehem, with a walk on the strip and stopping at the shops, then dinner at a restaurant we'd never been to but was highly rated.  In August, life got in the way and we had to reschedule ...  It got pushed to yesterday, in conjunction with our monthly "date night" and kids sleepover with Peter's mom.


Yesterday was nothing short of a disaster.

It started off okay.  I could feel that I was more edgy than I have been because of the excitement of our plans, which were shortened due to life and a lot of kids but still had the potential to be awesome.  We were due to drop the kids after lunch (so 12:30ish) but, due to poor behaviors that resulted in me losing it and yelling (which kills me to admit because I could have held it together, I was just so frustrated ), we ended up not leaving for Bethlehem until almost 3.  Then, not even fifteen minutes out, Peter's mom texts that Michael threw up (phlegm thankfully ) and Maya was complaining her ear hurt.  But not to worry and to keep going.  By the time we were forty minutes out (and not there yet )  the second contact, this time a phone call.  Things were finally settled but Maya was getting worse and could we just do dinner and come back.

At this point, I was barely holding it together.  Why would we drive almost an hour for dinner?  At like 4 o'clock?  Peter decided to keep going and we had barely parked when we were called to come back. He canceled the reservations and we went back to the car.

While I know it didn't help the situation at all, I cried.  I couldn't help it.  First off, date night is about the only way I get through the month.  It's the one night where, for 3 hours  I don't have to be someone's mom and I can just enjoy time with my husband.  Second  this was supposed to be a birthday getaway fitting for a 40th.  I worked to scope stuff out and find things I thought he'd love . To have it ruined once was tough but life is life.  But twice.  I was literally sobbing against the car door.

Finally, I pulled my shit together as we arrived and got Maya.  After two misses with urgent care, our third was successful and she was found to have the start of an ear infection and was prescribed antibiotics . She wanted to go back to sleepover so she did but the date evening was a bust, since Peter dropped off Maya only to collect Ana.  At this point, neither of us had eaten because we had planned on eating away so we went to a meal restaurant that is notoriously easy to get into on Fridays and Saturdays with decent food.  While Ana proceeded to make it the farthest thing from enjoyable, Peter and I ate . Then, he dropped us off at home and went back to do bedtime with the older four.

All in all, yesterday sucked. A lot .

Before taking the kids to my MILs, I took a rescue dose of the CBD.  It did not, however  rescue me.  It actually caused me to turn inward and made me unable to let go of the sadness that hit because of losing my cool and the day going to hell.  I felt tired and lethargic and just really, really sad and noncommunicative.  Peter's thought is that the doses were only about 5 hours apart and that may have been the issue.

On the up side, my joints feel a lot better, which is great, and my accidental encounter with gluten on Thanksgiving resulted in only a tiny rash and minimal swelling, verses the leg and arm rash and joint swelling I'm used to.

But, here's to today being back to the new normal and, hopefully, better days this week.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

CBD oil helped me too, when I was depressed as hell.