NICU Day 29

Today has actually been the "worst" day for the babies and, even writing that, I feel pretty horrible since their worst day is so mild compared to some. Both had some serious desating due to reflux. (I know, it doesnt even sound that bad). Bobby was setting his monitors off when I arrived and J, his nurse (whom we love) said that he was having some desats/bradys and she held him and burped him (funny, I know!) and he did better, so why didnt I pick him up and just hold him upright for a bit to see if that helped. You dont have to ask me twice! It did help and then I went to Maya for her holding. When she went to breast, she was chomping away- until she got a good squirt of breastmilk when my milk let down. And then she was choking. She coughed and I moved her upright while she sputtered and desatted. She gave me this look of "Mommy, what happened????" I held her upright on my chest and she just grabbed on and wouldnt let go. I held them each for about half an hour before they told us (via their monitors) that they were overstimulated and wanted to go to "the land of night nights" (as we call their beds when they go back to go to sleep). (When they start having desats even when they look fine, we feel like overstimulation has gotten to them and they are ready for bed. When they go back, they usually calm back into the 90s and are fine.)

My dad went with me today. He's so cute around them. He says that seeing them and seeing their pictures makes it "Christmas every day". He has full blown conversations with them when he visits, telling them how he's going to teach them to draw and how he'll get on the floor and play with them. Dad is also stopping smoking, because, in his words, he doesnt want to be thought of as a "stinky grandpa" and, like he told me today (which brought tears to my eyes): "I want to give them something I wasnt able to give you or Jimmy; a hug without them smelling smoke." Knowing just how severe smoke- even smoke that is lingering on clothing- can be to preemies, it really means a lot that he is stopping (all 3 grandpas smoke to different degrees). He is currently down from one pack a day to 3 cigs a day. He smokes them in pieces. Today, I picked him up at 9:45 and he hadnt smoked all morning. (The rule is no smoking before coming to the NICU because Peter and I dont want the babies to have a whiff of that even when they arent being held by anyone other than us.) I dropped him off at 2:30. For a smoker, that is a long day. Yet, he was doing great. He's working really hard at it. He's been teased at work (where a lot of people are smokers) and he told me that he just tells them "It's for my grandchildren."

There is nothing that happens in my day that isnt mitigated by seeing those two beautiful babies. As several bloggers have commented, it is easy to see Nicholas, Sophia, and Alexander in their faces. We know they are never alone. That when we arent able to be with them, their older siblings are...

That is so comforting...