Thursday, December 27, 2012

The End of the World

*Just a fun note, this is my 1100th post*

According to some folks, the world was due to end on Dec 21, 2012.  Just like the people who thought the world was ending a few May (then October)'s ago, I'm sure there were some really upset folks on the day of the Solstice, when the end was nowhere in sight.

I didn't liquidate my bank accounts or charge up my credit cards.  Because, really, the world wasn't going anywhere.  (On that note, I should pay bills today...)

What better way, though, for the world to end?  Snuggled with Peter and Bobby and Maya... snuggling this new little one in my belly... Happy, content, (well, sick, but you get it).

Waiting to be reunited with the children not here.

Come the morning of the Solstice, as we snuggled with the peanuts and watched cartoons, I found my chest heaving and I began to sob.

I never believed the world would end... But oh, how there was a small piece of my heart that was ready.  A piece of my heart that wanted to have the world leave on my terms, so that I could hold all my children once more.  As I sobbed into Peter's shoulder, trying to voice words that made no sense, the hot tears chilled my fevered face.  "I just wanted, for one moment, to hold them all again..."

I'm sure I'm not the only one who didn't fear the Reaper, if indeed, the world was falling apart.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who, even without believing, wasn't afraid of the minor chance of 'what if'.


Ms. J said...

Oh honey...I never thought of it quite that way, but you definitely have a point. Thinking of you and all of your much loved children gently.

Jenni said...

I never had the slightest iota of belief that the world might end this year.
BUT, moving to the next world doesn't scare me, especially if we all go together.