(This post is all over the place... My apologies in advance...)
It's flattering to hear people say things like "Look how skinny you are!" or "Oh my gosh! You're going to wither away if you dont stop losing weight!" or "Dont lose too much weight!" or, my favorite, "You look great!". But, when I look in the mirror, I see the same person I was at 240lbs. That image hasnt changed. Sure, I know I've lost 46 pounds. I can feel it in my clothes (and in needing to buy new clothes). I can feel it when I walk around. I can tell by how much easier it is to bang out a 6 mile run, even in the winter, versus what it used to feel like when I ran a mile or two. So, I know it's true. I know I've lost weight.
But in my head, I'm still fat. Really fat.
This has really made me think.
If I had the opposite problem and suffered from anorexia or bulimia, this would be a problem immediately addressed. I'd be classified as sick; the DSM IV lists this as an illness. I could utilize my insurance and go for treatment. Although binge eating is being considered for inclusion in the DSM, right now there is no over-eating disorder. Does anyone else see a problem with this? If you abuse your body to stay thin, you are sick and we want to help you. If you abuse your body by being obese, we blame you. You could stop. You could lose weight if you wanted to. You choose to be fat. Many insurances dont even offer reimbursement for gym memberships (with usage of course!) and a fair amount dont cover consults with nutritionists.
I was talking to Peter about this and he said, "But you can stop. You prove that."
Do I? Really?
I'm not the only one confounded by the fact that obesity isnt included as a mental disorder. It's being talked about and it should be. One of the quotes that really struck me was "