In the past, I've always been so happy to see February end. My girlfriend, Ann, and I used to bitch and moan about how much we dreaded this second month of the calendar year and how we longed for the end of those short, 28 days that seemed to drag on and on. P's miscarriage was always the blight on the month until 2008. Then, it was his loss, plus the deaths of Nicholas and Sophia. I couldn't "hate" the month; it was their birth month too, but how it brought the sadness and reminder of their deaths. And the fact that we were usually buried by snow didnt help much either (I like the snow, but I'm ready for it to be over by February... not a good thought since I live in PA!).
This February started off rougher than I anticipated, but, as it has ended, I feel a renewed peace, so I'm glad it came about. I know that I will always link February will sorrow, but I think that, finally, the sense of joy at having each of my little February blessings finally outweighs the anguish of losing them.