Learning to breathe again after the deaths of my twins, Nicholas & Sophia, my son, Alexander, and 6 miscarriages... and finding joy on the journey with my sweet preemie twins, Bobby & Maya, and our miracle TAC singletons, Michael, Lucas, and Ana.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Here we are...
So, here we are. 16 weeks... Robert and Maya are now gestationally older than their big brother, Nicholas.
Yesterday, other than the sorrow, anxiety, and soreness from the vag u/s wand, was pretty uneventful. I cried a lot and snuggled with their blanket. When Peter came home, he just curled up with me and we remembered and held. He made Nick's dinner and, at 7:45, we just let the world sink away while we shared memories from his birth and life. At 8:45... when he journeyed on to his eternal life... we said a special prayer and had his meal. A hard night. But we cant remember without smiling through our tears.
And so, now we are here.
I remember this milestone with Alexander. The worry and then the sort of calm, the "we made it this far so we'll be fine." If only... We are now a week away from his gestational birth, on day 106 of pregnancy. Next Saturday... 7 short (long) days away...
Thank you all for abiding with us during this time. For your understanding, prayers, and support. It is so very appreciated.
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Congrats on getting to this point. I love your ticker. It is so bittersweet. It sounds like you have a sweet hubby who takes time to remember and cuddle with you. Hugs.
I say a pray for you and your babies every night.Stay strong ♥
Sweet Michele, so hard to have such a mix of happy and sad, so much going on to celebrate and honor and mark-- I am so glad you have rituals, so glad you have each other, and so very very glad you have this wonderful 16 week pregnancy.
I cannot pretend to know how you feel, but I can send love and warm thoughts for peace and joy in all that is good and wonderful, while honoring the sadness and bittersweetness of all you have experienced.
Thinking of you,
Praying for you and all your little ones. Thank-you for sharing your story.
I'm praying, Michele. I'm hopeful all is well. :)
Peace, my friend.
Oh these milestones are hard and break our hearts. But lil Robert and Maya are being looked after by their big brothers and sister, the best guardian angels I believe.
I'm hoping and praying (I don't do that very often) with you.
p.s. Its our turn, damnit!
Thinking of you and Peter.
One day at a time my friend. That is what will take you there. I hope the next 7 days go easy on you and your heart.
Waiting with you, as always.
Thinking of you...
Michele and Peter,
I have not been on blog land for some time, I just wanted to check in and see how things are going. I'm so happy that your pregnancy seems to be progressing uneventfully and that you are doing well! and I'm so thrilled that you are carrying a boy and a girl. Their names are lovely. (Robert is named after his uncle correct?)
Let's catch up soon. I feel really terrible about not being in touch more often.
One day at a time... All of your babies are so lucky to have you as their parents.
I hope this is a good, healthy week for you and you find calm amidst the stress of it all.
Praying for you and wishing you peace in the next few days. Hugs!
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