Here we are... Day 4 of bedrest. Other than some leg cramps and neck pain, things are going well. Thank goodness for my computer and the tv! ;)
So, I called Dr. Bailey yesterday morning. The bleeding was really freaking me out. To recap, I didnt really bleed in the hospital on Tuesday or Wednesday (just some light spotting). Thursday morning, I woke up and went to the bathroom to find blood on the toilet paper and a walnut size clot in the toilet. I tried not to freak out, but then, when I went to pee again- same thing: blood on the tp and a rectangular clot. Peter tried to assure me that it was probably fine, but to call Dr. Bailey if it didnt let up by lunchtime. After he went to work, I had to pee again (it's like an hourly occurrence) and, no clot, but still blood. I decided to consult Dr. Google. I searched for "bleeding after cerclage" and the first two hits seemed on point from the little blurb. Then, I clicked on them. They were both horror stories after cerclage. Not what I needed to read. One of them had clotting because the procedure had nicked her placenta. The clots were her placenta detaching! Freaked out, I called Dr. Bailey. I explained to the nurse what was going on and she told me Dr. B. would call me back, which he did, within 15 minutes.
He was very kind and explained that what I was going through sounded normal. That the bleeding was okay, as long as it wasnt really present while I was laying down and wasnt gushing. That small clots like mine were most likely blood pooling in the vagina and clotting, then releasing due to gravity and pressure when peeing. And what happened after I called? The bleeding stopped. Still no bleeding.
The kids have been on my mind a lot. Why didnt we have more time? Why didnt we have some sign of IC so that a cerclage might have looked like an option? WHY? I've really been letting myself grieve recently. There have been daily tears. I had forced myself to hide the pain when I worked and now, finally, I feel like I can be myself and let my feelings sit on the surface.
Nicholas. Sophia. Alexander. I love saying their names.
I had my first post-surgery visitor today and my second just called to ask if she could stop by. Glad I showered and put on my good PJs!