2 weeks

It's hard to believe that 2 weeks ago, Michael was born and our lives changed completely.  If I were still pregnant, I'd have less than a week until my scheduled c/s.  But he's here.  Really, truly here.  And I cannot imagine life differently. 

Michael, 2 weeks old: 7/16/13

I try to remember the feelings of "I'll be okay if I never have another baby" and then the shock of "OMG, I'm pregnant" and the continued surreal feelings surrounding the normal pregnancy that I never thought I'd have and I still find it hard to wrap my head around everything.  Even now, weeks after... even after having a healthy baby who roomed in and came home with me... who breastfeeds and gains weight (up 6oz at his 1w weight check yesterday!) and does all the normal things that a typical, term baby does...  How did we get to this point?  The combination of the TAC plus the getting-pregnant-on-our-own and even going into labor and getting to have that whole A HA! moment of "Honey, we need to go to the hospital... NOW."  It just boggles my mind and I have to just take a step back and not think about it because, otherwise, I feel like I just want to cry with the amazement of it all.

***
So, two weeks postpartum... I'm doing well.  Today is the first day I'm cleared for cardio, and Sarah and I are going running tonight when she comes over.  Let's be honest, we're going jogging tonight.  I'm not sure how far we will go.  My goal is one mile to start, but if I feel good (and we aren't dying from the humidity and heat!), I'd like to try for 2 miles.  They'll be slow miles, no doubt, although I tell myself that I've only been out of running for less than a month, so hopefully, the curve to get back wont be tough.  I'll let you know tomorrow. :)  I'd like to ease in with 3x a week if it is tough, and maybe 5x a week if it isn't.  We shall see.  I'm still not cleared for yoga until at least my appointment with Dr B, which is the last day of the month, but I've been trying to take at least 10 minutes a day to meditate.  Trying is the operative word there. 

I'd planned on running this morning, but we woke up late and Bobby had therapy.  I ended up crying in the shower.  Peter has absolutely no idea why it was so important to me to get out and run, and I honestly didn't have the energy to explain to him that running is one of the few "me" things that makes me actually feel like a person and not just a wife/mother/boob-attached-to-a-milking-machine.  Honestly, and I love the man with all my heart, I think even if I had had the energy to explain it to him, he wouldn't have gotten it.  And that's okay.  At some point, we'll have to chat about the fact that, in order to survive in the chaos that is our house with 2 nearly 4-year-olds and a newborn, I'm going to need some "me" time or I will snap.  It doesn't have to be fancy, but a good half hour to hour run a few times a week will make it so that I'm able to cope with the crazy around me.  I'm a better person (and hence a better wife/mother/boob) when I run.  It's my therapy.

Me, 2 weeks postpartum: 7/16/13

The scale is dropping, which is nice, especially since I haven't gotten back into logging calories (which I need to do).  I've just been eating when hungry (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are quite the menu staple, even now), which has equaled about 3 meals a day plus a snack or two during middle of the night pumpings (I've been pumping so that Peter can give Michael a bottle during the middle of the night, or if he is asleep and I feel full).  (Granola bars.... great snack! I have a box in the nursery.)

***
Bobby and Maya are doing well.  They loved their first week of camp, but last week was rough.  Bobby did really well, but Maya cried every single day.  Friday, she was upset the entire 3 hours. :(  Why? She wants to be home with Michael.  So, we opted to let her stay home this coming Friday if she has a good Tuesday/Thursday and, she carried a picture of Michael with her today.  Verdict? She had a blast today.  When  I went to pick her up, she saw me, said "Hi Mommy", and kept playing.  So, I think the photo really helped. 

All in all, they are having fun.  The camp seems like a good play time, although I miss our school for their structure and focus on education and socialization.  I realize, this is camp, so it is going to be different, but still...  Whenever I was in the classroom at school, there was definitely a feeling of "school" just for younger kids where the focus was on friends, learning, playing, etc.  In the classroom today (and given, I was there as they were getting ready for lunch for the full day kiddos), it felt more like a daycare setting (nothing wrong with that, just not my speed).  But the kids were each playing with their own group of friends and having fun.  Maya already has a "boyfriend" and Bobby has been playing and engaging with small groups, according to his aide (who were lucky enough to keep!)

Bobby @ Summer Camp: 7/16/13

Maya @ Summer Camp: 7/16/13

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Our family is settling into life with Michael. We took a walk last week, and Bobby and Maya pushed the stroller (while I walked in front, pulling it gently, and Peter walked behind).  Peter is back to work; he'll be taking Mondays off, which will be nice, and working Tu-Fr, sometimes from home, and with the ability to come home early, should we need him to.  Today is day one of his being gone and so far, so good.  The kids should be waking from nap any time now (it's around the 2 hour mark at 3:30), so we'll see how that goes!