They Cared

(What do you think of the new background?  I needed a change...  It's that time of year.  And I've finally been able to read a few books, now that the kids dont try to eat them all the time. :)  So, I thought I'd put a happier background up!)

***

A few months ago, I posted about the IRS sending us a letter and telling us that our 2008 taxes weren't approved.  (Yeah... 2010 is a GREAT time to tell us!)  So, I called them and talked to a nice woman and we were told to refile.  So, we did.  And then, in December, we received a letter stating that they were rejecting Nicholas, Sophia, and Alexander on our return, unless I could send them social security numbers (which I dont have).  They had assessed what we owed them- plus penalties, of course- and came up with over 6K that was due to them ASAP.  So, after a week of feeling the pain so strong that I couldnt even breathe when I thought about it, I decided to write them a letter, which they stated could be done if we wanted to challenge their ruling.  Although it was hard, during naptime, I sat at my computer and wrote as though I thought someone at the IRS would give a damn.

It turns out, they did.  We received a letter from them on Saturday.  They've accepted our return.  They are acknowledging the short lives our children lived.  They count.  They matter.  To the IRS.  To someone who gains nothing- really nothing- by saying they were our children and they lived, even for that short time.

I dont know who sat down and read my letter.  I dont know what supervisor may have had to sign off on what.  But I do know that the IRS rarely gets love.  They rarely are told "thank you".  So, thank you IRS.  Thank you for having a heart and giving grieving parents a moment of peace.  For understanding, even if just for a moment, that my babies count.

Even if they never grow to pay taxes of their own.  Even if they are only able to be claimed as "dependents" once.  Even if they die before they have a change to fully live and experience LIFE in every way possible.

Thank you for affirming that every minute counts for something.  That, for that moment, they were not just our in-the-womb babies, but our out-of-the-womb, living, breathing babies, too.  That they mattered to you, a government entity.

Most people dont cherish their tax returns or their correspondence from the IRS.  But I'll be keeping these forever, locked privately away in the box that contains the special treasures that belonged to Nicholas, Sophia, and Alexander.

And, although I'll bitch and moan about filing taxes (and paying whatever we may owe), I'll also hold those folks at the IRS in a special spot in my heart... because, in this situation, they took the time to have one.

And, some days, that is what you need to get through the day.