365...plus 1

365 days ago, my beautiful daughter, Maya, came home from the hospital.  Finally, at last, they were both home!

Now, they are so big I cant fit both of them laying down on my lap!  

Peter, the proud papa, held them in his arms, their bodies miraculously draped in the shape of a heart...

And now, today...  One year later...

***

A year ago, as I was preparing to take Maya home, in the NICU filling out paperwork, I couldnt help to think of a year before.  A year and a day, actually...  It had been a Wednesday night.  After my prenatal yoga class, I'd seen that dreaded spotting.  Racing to the hospital and faced with a resident who refused to call Dr Bailey (and not having his cell number with me), we began Alexander's labor that, ultimately, in spite of Dr B's care as soon as he came in the next day, couldn't be stopped.  

Taking a daughter home... begging to keep a son inside a little longer...  The irony couldn't escape me if it tried.  The same hospital.  I'd been on the same floor in APU...   I would have given my right arm for the possibility of the NICU but, at 17 weeks, that wasnt even close to being a possibility.  Alex was simply too young...

As we approach this year of bringing Maya home, it also begins the descent into two years ago, into what was and what might of been.  I can't believe Alex's 2 year birthday is less than a week away.  That those few days in the hospital really were our last with him.

That he paved the way for the two miracles who are walking around my living room and playing together...