(Sorry, no pictures today... They haven't been scanned in yet.)
We had our first official prenatal with Dr. Bailey yesterday at 11:45am. It was so nice to see him again. He's really a great doctor. We discussed the pregnancy thus far and then, the all important surgery. He'd like to do it around 3 weeks from yesterday. So a new countdown begins! He discussed what goes into the surgery (basically, they'll push my bladder out of the way and then stitch a little box from bladder to cervix and back around; I'll be given a uterine relaxer the day before, day of, and day after; one night in the hospital then 2w on bedrest until a follow up appt to check the stitching and healing; expect some spotting the first few days, possibly some cramping). All in all, he seemed very confident that things will go smoothly. I'll have to have a (gasp) epidural for pain management and, primarily, to keep me still. I'm not digging that. But it is the safest for the babies (general anesthesia can cause issues, not to mention, I've never had it so they dont know if I'd have a negative side effect- not what you want during pregnancy).
So, on to the babies! Both were doing great! Baby A was curled up and asleep- so cute! Dr. B. couldnt get a good measurement because she was curled up on her side, but what he did get was 8w3d +/- 2d, which is good, especially knowing it is off by a bit. HB was 171 bpm. The cutest thing was that she was moving her arms while she slept! You'd see her little heartbeat going then see a little shadow then heart again. At first I was nervous, but he zoomed in and you could see that her little arm buds were moving. The funny thing is, when I sleep, I have this habit of rubbing my hands and my feet together, like a little grasshopper. Peter's convinced I've passed this trait on, LOL! Baby B was dancing. I kid you not. We had a full frontal and you could see little legs and arms just moving up a storm! She measured 8w6d with HB of 176 bpm. And the detail with the ultrasound! Oh my goodness! We saw facial features. While the vaginal u/s is uncomfortable as all get out, it beats the hell out of the abdomen one. We began with an abdomen and it was exactly what you expect. You could see shades of gray and black and white and make out where the babies were in their sacs, but no detail. The vaginal- you would have thought they were much larger babies. At this point, they are less than an inch tall and yet we could see sooooo much. It was wonderful.
My cervix measured over 4 and was a closed T shape. It was curved, so an exact measurment couldnt occur. But he has over 2.5cm between my bladder and the end of my cervix, so he was very happy and said that, assuming this measurement holds, he thinks the surgery will be fairly uncomplicated. It should take less than an hour on the table, minus the checking in, epidural, recovery, etc. He wants to see us once a week until the surgery, so I have appointments for the next 2 Thursdays already scheduled.
In fun news, my little Volvo was taken into the shop. Sadness.... in the amount of $750. It was 2 fairly minor problems. One of the small engine parts was old and leaking. Not a big deal you say... Except that my engine is a turbo. So, they couldnt just repair it. They had to actually take the engine apart. The cost of labor because it's an all day job? Almost $600. The part was less than $30. Fun times. Then, my A/C had to be recharged. It was completely empty. Not a huge amount of labor, but it's $100 to charge it completely. Now, I expected this. My car is over 11 years old, so this is the cost of driving it around during summers with the A/C on. I expect that the Subaru (2002) will have to be charged within the next few years. But still.... Breaking my heart and the bank account! But, all is well. The Volvo is back to Peter (he works near our mechanic) and all is well. The price you pay for the safest car on earth!
I am now in the final week of employment. I'm nervous, truth be told. I haven't not had a job since college- and I actually worked even then a few hours each week! I've been working, mostly nonstop, since 1996. And before that, I worked in my parent's business (back in the days when it wasnt illegal to have your own underage kid working in the family business for a buck or two an hour...) So, I'm actually scared! I know that being a SAHM is a full time job, but I'm more concerned about the bedrest. After talking to Dr. Bailey, I realize that it wont be as bad as we once thought. Assuming I heal, he says that I can go to church on Sundays, go to the bathroom, make myself a sandwich, sit up in bed... Just not staying up on my feet for too long at a time. Because it is a preventative cerclage and not a salvage cerclage, he has expectations that things will go very well. But, still... I dont want to be a burden on anyone else. I already feel bad that, once again, Peter will be both husband and wife. Working all day and then coming home to do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning. He does it all with a smile. But I still feel bad.
Last night, we both had some breakdowns. I'm not sure, but usually repeating steps that we've done with Nick, Sophie, and Alex sometimes bring the harsh reality that they are not with us in this life into clear focus. There's still a lot of guilt, from both of us, that we couldnt protect them... That we failed them... Last night, after dinner, my guilt poured out. Peter held me for an hour until I cried myself to sleep, then we got up and went to bed, and things were better.
And, finally, yesterday afternoon we went to CSS for our first of three home visits. Misnomer, I know, since it isnt at home. They took our pregnancy news very well and completely understood our desire to become inactive after the paperwork, etc. is complete. They took our family histories and the history of our relationship. We were there for about 2 hours, but it was a good visit. In the past, everything has focused on foster parenting and the children involved, but this appointment was more us telling them about ourselves and where we've come from, where we've been, and where we are now. It was interesting to answer some of the questions, too. Some were things that neither of us have ever really asked ourselves.
It sounds like your appointment was great! Do you have a feeling these little ones are girls??? I love that one was sleeping and the other moving around like crazy.
I'm so happy to hear you are getting a cerclage and that this doctor will be taking good care of you. When things go well with this pregnancy, I also feel guilty that my body failed Gregory. Hugs.
You are almost exactly one week ahead of me! I'm glad everything went well and they have a detailed plan for you and the surgery. I'm sure bedrest won't be fun but it the best thing for you and those little babies. Can't wait to see new pictures!
So glad things are going smoothly still! It really sounds like this doctor works so well with you, and I think you're in good hands. I imagine bedrest will be a bit of a mental readjustment for you, but you've got a ton of support.
Every step of this process amazes me, and those tiny wiggles so early on just blew me away! Every time you post good news, I give a little cheer!
What a great appointment, and congrats on your wiggly little beans. As for your cerclage placement, it sounds like you're in really great hands, and bedrest won't be as bad as you think. You can sign up for Blockbuster Online or Netflix and have movies sent to your home. Some libraries have a homebound delivery service. Also, you can find a great deal of support from other bedrest mommies at www.sidelines.org.
I was on extensive bedrest with our daughter, and honestly, there were days that were just so hard. (It helped to have a calendar -- days to mark off, rings to cut away.) In the end, though, when she was born big and healthy, all of those hard days disappeared and I knew I'd do every bit of it again. Every bit.
Have you got any great plans for stuff to do while you're on bedrest?
Do you knit? Will the library be providing your sanity?
It is neat that you can have time to plan to keep yourself busy.
Thanks for keeping us up to date with all these details.
I'm very excited for you and your twins.
Everything sounds great! I am so glad they are taking such good care of all of you:)
Glad to hear that the two are growing healthy and strong and that the surgery is coming up soon!
I'm thinking of you so much these days and praying for you. I'm happy the surgery date looms near. I'm hoping the meltdowns occur less frequently and you find more peace in the upcoming days.
I had the biggest smile on my face as I read you describing the ultrasound and the little one dancing - that is just adorable. I also sense the real fear in your post, you're doing a great job of masking it in, but it never goes away. Your little ones have the best guardian angels around, at least that's what I try to tell myself.
Thanks for the feedback on the ob-gyns too by the way. I think you understood what I meant by being scared that if we went back to Janaki's ob, I'd be reliving the experience. But like you said, your ob has been through everything with you, thick and thin... well, its something to consider so thank you for your input...
p.s. Daniel Craig?? Noice!!
what I was dreaming of - come closer - shhh - was jensen ackles from supernatural. Now that's my idea of breakfast, lunch and dinner!! That boy is freaking edible!!
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