I was a child of the whole "Rock the Vote" era; and, thanks to starry eyed teachers, I grew up believing that my vote meant something and counted.
Yeah. I dont so much believe that anymore (although I'd like to). But I still vote. It's my duty and my priviledge. It's something that Peter and I take seriously and will teach our children is a way of carrying on their civic responsibility. That being said... It's kind of one of those lesser of evils in our house.
I would love to be someone who is so jazzed about their candidate that they eat and sleep them, that they post signs in their yards and volunteer at polling places, that they dedicate blog posts to them, and tell their kids why it is oh-so-important that XYZ be elected/re-elected.
I just dont have that. I'm not excited about the candidates and, instead, feel left with the nauseating is this the best we have to offer???? feeling. Sadly, it feels like neither of the leading presidential candidates have a full grasp of what the job of the President (or Congress or the Supreme Court) actually is. As they talk out both sides of their mouths, telling this group what they want to hear and that group what they want to hear, it just becomes clearer and clearer to me that our system is so flawed.
Billions of dollars have been spent between Obama and Romney as they lobby, beg, (and hopefully don't steal) votes. Billions of dollars. In light of the aftermath of Sandy, that makes me want to gag. Not to mention, the amount of folks in this country who are struggling to get by without disasters throwing a huge wrench in their plans.
Then there are the nasty comments. I'm a racist if I vote for Romney, I'm a communist if I vote for Obama. Voting with my brain, voting with my genitals, just voting in general enough to end dinner parties and play dates. Friends who no longer speak- the red and blue lines just too much of a divide.
This doesn't sound like the stuff I learned about in civics class.
I can't say that I 'rocked the vote' today. I voted alright. I walked the 4 blocks to the local elemenatry school, politely declined the propaganda that the blues and reds were handing out, and became the 194th person to vote in that location, a bit over an hour after polls opened. I stood inside the little booth, watching the screen light up with all of the candidates' names. Obama/Biden... Romney/Ryan... My vote was decided quite a bit ago, but it was still with a sense of sadness that I made the decision and cast my voice into the pile. I want to be excited. I want to feel like I'm working to elect a leader that I can be proud of.
Instead, it just felt like I was picking the one that might do less damage over the next 4 years. Someone who might hold the Office of the President with dignity and honor. Someone who will hopefully uphold the words of our Founding Fathers, and the morals and values we hold dear.
I dont know what will happen today. My heart is heavy and I'm in prayer, hoping that no matter what happens, the outcome will work towards becoming the America that I want my children to grow up in.
I'm just so tired of the mudslinging and anger. I'm ready for November 7th.