Thursday, February 25, 2010

Playing Catch Up

So... Before today, I hadnt really blogged in over a week. It was liberating in the sense that I was so busy that I couldnt even think straight, but it was also sad because I missed reading up on everyone. I've missed pregnancy announcements and heartbreaks. When I lamented to Peter that I was missing everyone, he says "Read LFCA, that's like blog cliffnotes..." Not so much, honey, but I was impressed that he knows what LFCA is!

As many of you know, sweet Terri and her family visited for Bobby and Maya's Christening. Terri was my maid of honor and we've been through many ups and downs together. She posted about two of the funniest (and, in one case, scariest) things of the weekend. Read her Mallomars entry first, and then the Rocking Horse one. Oh my goodness... And that was within the first 6 hours of their visit! We'll be visiting Tennessee in June, and I cant wait to see her and her family again.

Things have been crazy here. I missed another weekly gym goal. I'm sad about that, but I had good reasons. People were visiting and in one case, Maya had puked all over Peter, herself, the couch, you name it. So, I changed her and bathed her, and she was fine. But when I went to dress her, she freaked. So, I ended up kangarooing her all night. One night, Bobby was just very clingy and would cry whenever I put him down or gave him to Peter. The teething is taking its toll on both babies. I know it will end soon, but my heart goes out to them.

They are growing like weeds. I have no weight check, but will next week at their (gulp) 6 month appointment. It's going on half a year since they were born... I cant believe it... Bobby is in size 3 diapers, wears size 2 shoes, and is in 6-9 month outfits (and in some cases, 9 month outfits). He's not fat by any means; he's tall and, as his PawPaw says, built like a linebacker. Maya just moved into her size 2 diapers (and I cried because my peanut is growing so fast even though she is growing slower than her brother). She wears 3 month and 3-6 month clothes, although she can still get into some of the bigger sized 0-3's. Her feet are TINY. The newborn shoes fall off her! I have this tiny pair of "prenewborn" shoes that are christening slippers that she can wear. But her cute newborn shoes... too big! But she is tall. Perhaps we have a basketball player on our hands!

I think a lot about our family. As Peter's mom said today, "You always wanted a big family. I know it isnt how you thought it would be, but you have your big, beautiful family." She's right. Not how I pictured it would be, by any stretch of the imagination. But the way it had to be so that it could be so big. I cant imagine life without even one of our sweet little ones...

I met a woman at the gym last night. We were at yoga and were chatting before class started. We were talking about how yoga helps post-pregnancy bodies and she asked if the twins were our only children; I said that they were our only living. She nodded and said that she understood and that she had carried twins but now had a beautiful daughter. One of her twins died. She has two other living children as well, but as we talked, she shared that she had three living children from 8 pregnancies. She went through infertility and so much to have her family; she confessed that she still thinks of more children, but knows that she couldnt go through it again. Her youngest was a 28 weeker, too. It was so liberating to be able to talk about our children and our journeys. It was strange because it came on the heels of another talking instance. Peter and I were at BJs and were leaving, and the post-checkout woman was checking our receipt and commented on the twins. She asked if they were our firsts and I said no, four and five, but that they were our only living children. She nodded and shared that she lost her first daughter at 3 days old, due to rubella exposure. She has one surviving son, born 18 months later. She was able to share and it seemed like she was glad to be able to talk about her daughter, her first born. It's funny how we run into people in the strangest places... How we connect in a world not fashioned for dying babies and the parents they leave behind...

The wrist tendinitis still sucks. :( Some mornings I can barely lift the kids or hold their bottles until I've "worked out" my wrists. This morning was one of those mornings. It sucks. :( In my body's defense, I havent taken daily Advil, as recommended by my GP, so the inflamation is probably getting worse. Better go pop a pill...

For those who have emailed and not gotten a response... I am sorry. My inbox is 2 pages long. I'm working on it- I promise!


Debby@Just Breathe said...

I think it is beautiful how God has connected you with these women.
I have read so many blog where the woman was asked about children and they have said they don't have any or they may comment on just the living child. When you share from your heart they can share from their heart. I don't understand the reason to not mention the ones who have passed. I know that most will say they don't want to make the person uncomfortable, well I say so what to that. Your child must always come firt before their feelings. That is my opinion.

trennia said...

hope your wrist feels better.

Ms. J said...

I bet those women were as pleased to have met you, and be able to share their "real number" of children, and have someone who understands, just as you were able to freely share with them and received both acknowledgement and understanding.

Christy said...


I've been trying to catch up on your story over the past week or so, and I just have to say that, even though we don't like to hear it sometimes, you are an AMAZING person. I'm so glad for your sweet Bobby and Maya and I'm just so sorry for the loss(es) of your sweet children.

I'm slowly catching up on your story, but wanted you to know I'm here reading.

Love to you,

Reba said...

i am SO impressed that peter knows what LFCA is!! wow.

i have not come out and told people my "real" number of children in a while. but it ALWAYS feels so good when someone else says "well we lost one and have three living" so then i can say "we lost our first two as well" and then, how wonderful, i get to talk about my twins too! even while being sad that yet another person went through this heartache, however long ago it was.

Jill said...

So great to hear from you! That is wonderful that you made a connection with that lady from the gym. She must have felt so comfortable to open up to you. We babylost moms share a special connection.

Mother Knows Best Reviews said...

It's so amazing how the twins are just growing like little weeds - or actually, beautiful little flowers! I know teething must be rough, but it's so amazing to think of them being so big already!

I think it's just amazing that you've had two such wonderful connections. The story of the woman at the gym is so remarkably similar in a lot of ways to yours - that had to be such an amazing connection!

This is totally off-topic, but I wanted to thank you for your help on the BC's thread I started on BBC! You are just amazingly full of info!

bibc said...

hey michele
for some reason you weren't on my blogroll. i fixed that and added you to my list of award recipients :o)
thanks for keeping up with me

Katie said...

I have been wondering where your smiling face has been (your comments are always like a big hug). I am so glad to hear that all is okay and that you were having a fun visit.

It is always a bittersweet experience for me to talk to others about pregnancy loss and infertility. I love connecting with others, but I always feel a bit sad afterward, thinking of their losses and my own. It is such a sad and painful thing to experience (and I didn't have it NEARLY as badly as many, including you), and I hate to think of others suffering in similar ways.