7w5d

I'm tired, folks.  Like, really, in-my-bones tired.

What else is new!

Well, the sabbatical of puking is gone.  Turns out, I had a 3 day hiatus and then, on Saturday, the whole at least 2x a day, came back calling.  Nothing says fun, either, like having company and, in addition to skipping dinner, ending up in the bathroom making the vocal perfomance for the evening.  Nice.  I'm nothing if not classy, I tell you.  I think Maya has had enough of this too.  The other day I was having a mommy-daughter breakfast with her and ended up running to the bathroom to get rid of said breakfast.  When I came out, the look on her face spoke volumes, the least of which was Did you just diss me for breakfast??? What the heck, Mama!  She has taken to telling me, when I don't feel well, "Don't worry; it will be over in the summer."  Girlfriend, if you curse me to morning/all day sickness until this child is delivered, I'm going to curse you to the same... with all your pregnancies... :)  In fairness, she's quite cute and very motherly as she gingerly tells me to suck it up and drive on.

Other than the return of Ralph, I officially have become one of those people who stops and looks at themselves in the mirror.  I swear, there is a pooch that wasnt there before.  Now, I know that I'm not even 8 weeks yet (on Thursday... and there will be a picture to document the months...), but it is there- I swear! Not enough that it will hold up a pair of maternity pants or anything like that, but enough that if you paid attention to my midsection under the shirt, you'd think I'm either a runner who realllllllyyyy likes donuts (which, hey, no lie there) or I could, maybe, possibly, be pregnant (but not enough that you'd dare say anything).  But, hey, to me... It's a freaking billboard!  And, as my mother-in-law says, I swear that my butt became some sort of shelf overnight.  She always said she could tell when I was pregnant because of how my butt looks (which means she must have been looking! :) ) but now, as I gaze at myself too much walk by the mirror, I can totally see it.

While I was looking at eBay for some special gifts, I mentioned I picked up a couple of very cheap maternity pieces, including a dress for Christmas.  Other than yoga and running clothes, though, I wasnt planning on investing in anything before the second trimester.  Because, let's face it, I have a pretty nasty m/c history but also, my yoga and running clothes are comfy and will get me through!  But I am very fortunate for some lovely ladies in my life via playgroup and yoga who have offered me some maternity clothes.  One of the moms brought a bag of some really cute things (especially some adorable tops) that are already in my closet.  At this point, I think I'd look like a poser in them (and, like I said, it's not like my fat pooch belly can even hold up a pair of maternity pants at this point) but I might wear one of the shirts on Saturday when I meet a girlfriend for coffee...  Just because it is so darn cute!

Another fun thing?  Boobs.  Apparently with my stomach and butt, my tatas got the message.  Not only are these things sore, but they dont want to fit comfy in my bras anymore!  If these things are growing already, then I am going to be in for a world of hurt come summer.  Not going to be fun...  I'm a 38D (down from a 44DD when I was heavier) and I know it's dumb, but I'm really hoping they dont get too much bigger.... (My mom is reading this and laughing her butt off right now, I just know it).

From a symptom standpoint, just the nausea and a return to TIREDALLTHETIME.  But, otherwise, I feel good.

I received an email from Dr. Haney at UC, telling me he spoke with Dr. B. and that he thinks Dr. B. is a good choice. They talked about the TAC, c-section, etc., and apparently all went well.  I'll have to bother Dr. Bailey for more info next week when I have my next appointment.

I'm trying to keep positive still and, suprisingly, it's fairly easy.  I just try to believe that things will be different this time and that things will be easier.  I still have the moments where I am terrified of bedrest or, worse, hospital bedrest, when I have Bobby and Maya to take care of, but for the most part, those feelings stay at bay and I just keep telling myself we're going to be fine.  One of my prenatal clients, who lost twins as well, told me, at the start of her pregnancy (and she's almost done!), that she was still making plans.  She wouldnt be able to control is something awful happened, so why not?  I'm trying to embrace that mantra.  I've scheduled some prenatal workshops with another local studio for the first quarter, and I'll be teaching prenatal yoga for the school district in the spring.  We're going on vacation in April.  I'm looking into summer camp/preschool for the kids once the term ends in May.  Although we havent bought/done anything yet, we've been discussing getting the kids their 5-point boosters, which will make the transition to a third carseat in the second row of the XC90 a bit easier to manage, and we're debating new bedroom arrangements, since the baby would bunk with us for a good while.  Just talking about it, but at times, that is a big step. And it feels that way.  So that's where we are.

I'm not as diligent as I was in writing in my pregnancy journal, not for lack of wanting.  I'm just so tired and I feel like I'm always rushing to finish this or that or do this or that.  In trying to keep up with just this space, I at times feel rushed!  But I keep it handy so that I cant jot things down.  And, of course, when they want, the baby would always be able to read their journey on the blog! :)

Well, 2 more weeks til Christmas and, I think, my FB reveal.  I'll be about 10 weeks, so it's not quite the end of the first trimester, but I'd like to post a photo Christmas card (since the ones I'm mailing are awful and very plain/storebought/no pic ones), and it just feels wrong to not share the news there... We'll see how I'm feeling in two weeks! :)