You're Awesome!

THANK YOU to everyone who emailed me with comments about cholesterol. You guys are so sweet! Several folks asked me about my PCOS and the predisposition to both high sugars and high cholesterol. Yes, PCOS does contribute to both. Thankfully, I've been really lucky with having lower sugars. I have only had one blood test come back in 2 years with slightly elevated fasting blood sugar (and it was only a few points over normal). My others are all well within range. When pregnant, I did have GD and high sugars, but that was expected with the PCOS-twins-bedrest combo. As soon as I delivered, my blood sugar was back to normal. So, I've been really lucky on that front. I've had a couple of tests come back with higher cholesterol (even when I was strictly vegetarian), so the PCOS has played a role in that. Since I'm 18 weeks post delivery, I am assuming that my numbers are (fairly) accurate (even though PCOS does play a role, they arent considered "false highs" since I can still have cholesterol related issues). I am sooo hoping the gym helps to lower it into normal ranges. I dont know how much my diet can be changed (well... I do drink almost a pot of coffee (decaf) a day with real half and half... I'm sure that much dairy is NOT helping me... I'm cutting down to making only 4 cups and drinking that during the day instead of drinking 12 cups over a day... I've worked down to 8 cups, so half way there!)

Thank you to the advice on adding flax seed, oatmeal, and a variety of other things. I will most certainly look into them! I'm having a retest in 8-10 weeks, and I'll let you know how I'm doing!

As to the funky anonymous comments in recent days. I've noticed these around other blogs too. Not sure where the nastiness is coming from these days... I take them with a grain of salt. There are plenty of wonderful Anonymous folks out there, so I'd never disable that feature. I choose to publish all my comments because it's a free country and we're all entitled to our opinions (including thinking I'm a whackjob or whatever). I'm a member of a variety of forums and have never seen my name mentioned, but even if it is, oh well. We all grieve in different ways. Some folks choose to not hang pictures or talk about their children who have passed; and it works for them. We choose to integrate our dead children into our lives as much as we can, in pictures and in words, and that works for us. I loved the one comment that explained that, if our children were alive, we wouldnt forget them in order to love Bobby and Maya, so of course we dont forget our children who have passed just because we love Bobby and Maya so much.

I feel grateful to be a member of such a connected community. I read blog after blog, some about life TTC, some about pregnancy after TTC or pregnancy after loss, some about mourning parents, and some about life with children living and dead. Even if I am not in the same position as the writer, I always feel so lucky to be able to both share their journey as well as have them share mine. I learn something or gain something or (hopefully) give something to other parents who grieve and rejoice.

I remember my grandmother telling me that, in her day, women who had losses didnt share them. They were told to ignore them and try again and just forget. And, because of that, there werent people to "help" others as they entered "the club". Can you imagine? I cant. And I dont have to. I try to write as honestly as I can, whether that includes sorrow or joy, because I remember being an anonymous reader, reading blogs and trying to find a way to go on because the unthinkable had happened and I had lost a child. I dont know what I wouldnt have done had I not found the understanding and support.

So, as much as I hate reading nasty comments, perhaps they have found our blogs in pain and cant express themselves. Or perhaps they know someone and cant help and are taking out their frustration on us.

Or maybe they are just mean.

I dont know. And does it matter? Really? We write for ourselves, to help our grief, to go forward without moving on, to express ourselves and, if we are really lucky, to help others and to connect with others who understand. So, while I appreciate the offers to kick ass on my behalf (and I appreciate you all jumping to my defense, I really do), let's take a page from my grandma's playbook and just pray for them. We dont know where they are in life or why they are trolling our blogs and writing things we'd rather not see. (Maybe they are like the little kid on the playground that used to chase you and try to hit you because he like you... Who knows...)

Okay, stepping off the soap box. I've got to finish up breakfast dishes and get ready for the gym! Yes, I'm going to the gym! :) Starting the week off right with yoga. :) (oh, and that laundry wont wash itself, so I'd better see to that too...)