Day 8: T-16

Up, down, and up again. It is rollercoaster isnt it? Or maybe one of those rides where they take you up 100 feet only to drop you cold... And then raise you again.

Peter came last night with a very special gift: my mother's ring. I wanted to cry when I saw it, it was so beautiful (I realize... I'm crying a lot more these days...) It's a white gold band with a raised claddaugh in the center (for those who arent sure what a claddaugh is, it is an Irish symbol of a heart (love) topped with a crown (fidelity/loyalty) and with a hand on either side (friendship).) On one side, it is flanked by a peridot (Peter's birthstone), amythest (Nicholas), and citrine (Alexander); the other has an alexandrite (me) and amythest (Sophia). We will have two more added when these babies are born and we know their birthstones. I tried to take a picture with my cell and it is rather blurry, but perhaps I can get my MIL to take one with her digital and post that.

Even though my blurry image doesnt do it justice, it is really beautiful. It's a constant reminder of the family I love so much. And now, it is at my fingertips. Literally.

But, all good things have to be balanced with the not so good. While Sarah was visiting yesterday (sorry, no crafts to report...), I started having contractions. Not regular, but enough that I felt them. At 9pm, I was having the TOCO (contraction monitor), so I didnt think much of it. But when my nurse came in at 40m instead of an hour, I knew it wasnt good. Every 4 minutes. :( I'd drank my 3 pitchers of water over the day, but after talking to the doctor, she told me to drink 2 more. Which I did. In half an hour. And I turned from my back to my side. And they stopped. I was free of the TOCO around 10:30, peed, and went to bed. And peed at 10:45. And at 11:10. Finally, I fell asleep until, you guessed it, another potty break, although at 2:30. Then I was good until 6. But no contractions. So, while they were a bummer, it looked up. So, now I need to drink at least 4 pitchers a day.

But then things really looked up. I took my first shower today! Peter helped me to the chair and it was WONDERFUL. Dont get me wrong. Sponge baths are great. But there is something about the cascading warm water... a soapy cloth... washing your own hair... It was a great five minutes. But it got better. Dr B came in for his consult and told me that he thinks I misunderstood. I can shower EVERY day, as long as I feel comfortable. EVERY DAY. A shower. Being clean. Really clean. That lifts your spirits. It may sound like a small thing but to me, it is a huge victory. But it gets better. :) He said that he was looking over my chart last night and thinking, and he thinks that it would be okay for me to use a potty chair to urinate. (A potty chair is like a portable toilet thing that can sit next to the bed.) I didnt expect to get to this point until next week! He said that he wants me to use it today forward and that I will have a scan on Tuesday. He said that he is almost positive that this wont change my cervix at all or put pressure on the stitch, since it is so brief a time. It is also a good practice to see what kind of movement is going to be phazed back in (like eventually sitting for meals and using the actual toilet). So, right now it's just urinating in the portapotty and showering for 5 minutes each day. But it is a HUGE step for me. Just the brief moments of sitting up today (yep, I've already peed unassisted once! YAY!) have been such a boost to my self esteem. A feeling like we are really, truly doing better if he is allowing me these two, big priviledges.

I am on the TOCO now for my monitoring. (After last night, they said that I can definitely lay on my side, since that gives me less contractions than an hour on my back). And, dont worry, I am drinking! I actually think the potty priviledges might increase my drinking, since part of the issue, subconsciously, may have been the fear of "bothering" nurses. They are all so kind and NEVER once made me feel that way. I just know me and I cant help but wonder if that wasnt part of it. Even though I was drinking.

It's another good day thus far. Dr. B. leaves for vacation tomorrow. He made sure I have his number if there is an emergency (how wonderful of a doctor is that? to give you a personal number while he is on freaking vacation!) and said that Dr M will be covering and that hopefully she will "only say good morning every day because you wont need her!". He also told me that he is very optimistic that I will still be pregnant when he returns in 2w and that my scan on Tuesday will be a positive one. That really does help to hear.

So, today, I am feeling optimistic. Babies are moving (a lot) and contractions are few and far between (at least the contractions I can feel are!). My friend, M, is coming to visit today and I am looking forward to seeing her. And, I didnt even cry when Peter left for work this morning! So, emotionally especially, I am doing better. Physically, laying down is rough, but I think the weeks at home really prepared me and it isnt as hard as it would be if I came from being very active to being flat on my back. But more than that, the babies help. They are so good. They move so much and are just a bundle of energy. That improves my mood more than anything.

Since perinatal is doing my scans from now on, I dont know if I will have pics. :( Sad for you and for me. I didnt see a printer attached to the portable unit they use, so... Perhaps I will be able to have my cell take a good picture? I dont know yet. We will see.

So... 16 more days! These days are getting less and less. Before you know it, we will have another goal to count down too! Thank you for riding this rollercoaster with me and for the constant support. It helps so much, both in attitude and in the pregnancy. Those prayers are working and we are seeing the impact. Less days to goals. Small victories. Little priviledges. Lack of drugs. Thank you.

I'll keep you updated! Hopefully with only good news!