13dpo

So, here we are, on the eve of our "big" bloodwork. Peter and I both feel we are expecting baby #4 (and possibly #5, too). 8:30am tomorrow.... Eighteen and a half more hours to go...

Last night was a rough night. We cried and cried. I think a certain amount of time goes by and then you realize how severe your loss is. It was about the 3 month mark with our twins and yesterday, it was the three month mark with our cuddlebug. Oh, the tears. The hurt. The utter anguish. We just held each other and wept. We read through parts of Alexander's journal and cried some more. We watched a tiny candle flicker on the brownie his father bought to remember our son with after his special dinner and sobbed. And then, we felt that sense of peace and hope that he brought to us in his pregnancy and life. We wrote in his journal and then held each other as we fell asleep.

Thank you for remembering Alex with us. As long as we each remember each other's children, they will never be forgotten.