Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Maternity Clothes

I'm not a fashionista, and, pretty much, I wear what fits and is comfortable.

When I was pregnant, I fell in love with Motherhood Maternity, and all their cutesy pregnancy things.  I mean, when else do you get to promote your belly!

With Nicholas and Sophia, I bought a few cute tops and wore mostly yoga pants, although I had 2 pair of maternity pants I really liked.  One of those tops and the jeans were cut off when Nicholas was born.  I wish that I had a piece of them somewhere, but they were in an ambulance somewhere and were, no doubt, destroyed.  Whatever might have been fragmented at home surely was tossed out in the cleaning process before we can home from the hospital, but I dont remember my clothes being cut off in the house.

With Alexander, I bought a few more pieces and wore them every chance I got, just to relish being in those maternity fashions (if one could use that word!).  I still have the PJ bottoms I was wearing when I went to the hospital; I wore them the other day.  I cant ever imagine getting rid of them.

With Bobby and Maya, I didnt invest in any new maternity clothes, save some nightgowns and stretchy tank tops for the hospital, and a nice set of "visiting PJs" that Peter bought me, so that I'd look somewhat presentable when people came by the house before I was admitted.  I still have those in my regular clothes drawer.

Before they came home from the hospital, I packed up my maternity clothes in a bin and put them in Maya's closet.  I mean, I wasnt pregnant anymore; I didnt really need them out.  They arent the right season, and I dont want to draw attention to my belly.  In my head, I've told myself that I really need to donate them or sell them or something... They are just sitting in the closet.  But...  I cant.  Every time I've gone to get them out, I just cant do it.

I decided the other day that I was REALLY going to do it.  And, before I even had a chance to draft a craigslist ad, I was smacked on the head by a woman in need.  She's just lost her job, has a baby on the way plus kids at home, and is in need of- you guessed it- maternity clothes because she has grown out of her regular clothes... And, she's my size...

And, I have enough clothes to fill 2 garbage bags sitting in an upstairs closet, with no one to wear them.

I emailed her, and right away, she emailed back.  So, I packed up the clothes and they are now in those bags in my trunk.  I'm meeting her tonight to give them away.

I know they are just clothes, but I miss them already.  I miss knowing that they hugged my body when I was pregnant.

There's one shirt... Black and gray...  My mother-in-law bought it when I was pregnant for the first time, with P, way back when...  Gosh, a decade ago really... Wow...  I've worn it with every pregnancy.  It was my "good luck shirt".  It's the only thing that I wore with every single baby.  Putting it in the bag was hard.

Do I keep it?  Do I pull it out before I meet her tonight?  What will I do with it, just put it in a drawer?  Stick it in their memory boxes?  Wear it?  Cuddle in it when the grief hits really hard, like a security blanket?  I dont know...

Or do I let it go?  Let it be worn by another mother, with dreams and hopes...  With the chance that it will welcome other babies into the world...

I dont know...  It hurts my heart to think about letting any of them go, especially this one shirt.  And then it ticks me off that I'm attached to some clothes!  I mean, really- they are clothes!  And they belong with people who need them.  And I dont.  So I should just suck it up and move on...  But...  I cant...  And I cant rationalize it out either.

Peter says I should save the shirt.  Maybe I will...  Maybe I'll cuddle in it right now, while the rest of the house is sleeping peacefully, and I'm still awake.

15 comments:

Amy said...

Keep the one shirt, and give the rest away. The Lord will bless you for helping out that woman more than a bag of used clothes ever could.

And I totally understand. Letting go of those clothes feels like you are letting go of your hopes and dreams. Be brave!

Anonymous said...

I would save the shirt . Its one shirt and it means so much to you.. cant hurt to keep ONE.

I know what you mean about the maternity clothes (and baby clothes for that matter) I still have ALL my maternity clothes from when I was preg with Anthony (even though Ill probably never fit into them). They are all size S and M and when I was preg with Aly I had to get size L. .. but I still will keep them "just incase". As I am doing with Alys clothes... "just incase" the next baby is a girl.

I also have a non maternity shirt that I wore the day we found out that Anthony had passed away.... its super cute and stretchy and even though I wanted to wear it when I was preg with Aly, I was too scared to. I thought "if I wear this shirt, it will be the day my baby passes".. I know, weird .. but, yet.. I cant bring myself to get rid of it and I cant wear it either .. its in limbo.

Anonymous said...

I would save the shirt . Its one shirt and it means so much to you.. cant hurt to keep ONE.

I know what you mean about the maternity clothes (and baby clothes for that matter) I still have ALL my maternity clothes from when I was preg with Anthony (even though Ill probably never fit into them). They are all size S and M and when I was preg with Aly I had to get size L. .. but I still will keep them "just incase". As I am doing with Alys clothes... "just incase" the next baby is a girl.

I also have a non maternity shirt that I wore the day we found out that Anthony had passed away.... its super cute and stretchy and even though I wanted to wear it when I was preg with Aly, I was too scared to. I thought "if I wear this shirt, it will be the day my baby passes".. I know, weird .. but, yet.. I cant bring myself to get rid of it and I cant wear it either .. its in limbo.

Stace said...

I would save it... but I'm a bit of a sentimental person like that. Maybe you won't wear it, maybe it won't do any "practical" good, but it might do you good to have that connection from P to Maya & Bobby?

It's funny... I can't even remember what I was wearing when I went into labor with the twins. Everything was such a blur and they had me change so quickly that I can't remember what I took off!

And randomly... how do you get the twins to STAY in their twin beds with the bolsters? Colby rolls and flips and stands and sits and everything else in his crib... I'm just curious how they "stay put"? :) (And it makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who still rocks to sleep!)

Anonymous said...

If this were me, I'd save the shirt. I am a hoarder of all things sentimental. I don't think it's silly at all! Plus you'd get to show it to Bobby & Maya one day as being the only article of clothing that all of their siblings got to experience, even them! Who knows, it may become Maya's favorite maternity shirt years from now:-)

Anonymous said...
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Michele said...

Thank you all for the comments... I think I'm saving that shirt, and maybe not just for me, but for the other Mrs. H's who may one day where it!

Sophie said...

Save the shirt Michele. Anything that could give you comfort is worth keeping. Maybe you'll let it go later.

xx

Anonymous said...

I agree with the other comments!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I would keep it.

Ms. J said...

Keep one shirt. Even I am keeping one shirt, and have placed it in with other important things that are specific to Peanut and her journey to us, just as I have a special bin full of stuff regarding Lil Pumpkin's (albeit different) journey into our lives.

I have a small bag of clothes ready to give away, hopefully to my BFF in the near future (had a m/c last year and hasn't been able to get preg again since).

one-hit_wonder said...

I think you should save the shirt. Maybe if Maya ever gets pregnant, she can wear it.

the Hot Biscuit :) said...

Absolutely keep it. Somethings are valuable for the memories they hold. Maybe, one day, you could have it put in a memory quilt with other precious things.

kim said...

I saw on another blog where a mom had some of her fav maternity clothes and a couple onesies made into a quilt/wall hanging. I would keep the shirt and donate the rest.

Terri Jones said...

Keep the one shirt. I have my favorite maternity/nursing night gown & robe. Haven't worn them but they are still there. For the most part I couldn't stand maternity clothes.