A dear friend of mine lost her first child to an ectopic pregnancy around the same time that Nicholas and Sophia were born (Nick was Feb 1st, her baby was Feb 14th, and Sophie was Feb 16th). She got pregnant again and lost her second baby right before I had my second miscarriage; they had seen the heartbeat and the baby died soon after. It was horrible. Then she got pregnant a month after I conceived Alexander. She went on to deliver a healthy baby girl, full term. I remember her visiting me when I was in the hospital with Alex, and then how heartbroken she was to do one of the readings at his memorial service, while she was radiant with pregnancy. At her baby shower, I had just conceived Bobby & Maya. Needless to say, we are close and have been through hell together. She is a dear friend (and Maya's godmother), so you can imagine my immense joy when she texted me a positive pregnancy test after a few months of BFNs.
And then today's text... The heartbreaking news that this baby, in spite of doubling betas, is ectopic.
I know we often search for meaning. For the "why" in our bad news and heartbreaks. But really... Why? It's hard enough to lose one child- regardless of gestation- but then to lose a second, and now a third. She and her husband are such loving parents... It's so heart wrenching. And what makes it worse is that I cant help. I cant take away the pain or help her dreams of another baby in her arms come true. I can only send her love and tell her we are keeping her family close to our hearts. It's simply so unfair!