Monday, October 3, 2016



It seems like a good number.

Like five.


It's crazy to think that Nicholas and Sophia would be eight and a half... That Alexander would turn eight in November...  It's crazy to think that baby #8 is due in May.

Yeah... So there was this:

and this:

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.  But yeah... Wow.

We were getting ready to host a family dinner when Peter noticed my period app pinging that I was late.  Since I've only had one real postpartum period and the second seemed like only three very light days, I wasn't overly concerned.  It takes a bit to get back on track and I told him as much.  But Peter, being a scientist, thought i should test, especially since we were planning on buying tickets to Whiskey Fest.  I had tests from when I was pregnant with Lucas and thought I could quickly put to rest the notion of another pregnancy. Instead, this happened:

Talk about crazy!  There may have been tears and explicatives.  And shock... A lot of shock.  Over the next few days, it sank in and I called Dr B, whom I saw last week.  I see him again at the end of October and we will have a better idea of where we are, date wise.  According to LMP, I was 8 weeks yesterday with a due date of Mother's Day.  Based on the first ultrasound, the baby measured a week behind with a heartbeat of 120/bpm.  Because we are talking about a small baby and a lot of the same things being viewable, Dr B feels that my next appointment, 10.5-11.5 weeks gestation, will give us the best dating.  I'll also have blood drawn for the Materni21 screen which, while it won't give us dating information, will let us know the health of the baby and confirm or deny Maya's insistence that this IS her baby sister.  The child has been praying for another baby- a GIRL baby- since Christmas.  We really should her her to pray for things other than more children... At this rate, the lottery!

I started with morning sickness and nausea last week.  As much as it sucks, it hasn't been as awful as it was with Michael or Lucas.   Physically, I feel okay.  With four kids to chase after, okay is really the only option.

Emotionally, I'm getting there... I think.  It's hard. The part of me that remembers trying for a baby for so long to be answered by constant negative pregnancy tests, is over the moon.  The part of me with PCOS and autoimmune disease that shouldn't be able to get pregnant easily is like "Woo Hoo!!!".  The part of me that is a homemaker and homeschooler is nervous about where the extra money and time (and, honestly, energy and patience) will come from.  The part of me that remembers how awful the PPD was after Lucas is terrified.  The post of me that is battling my eating disorder is afraid and just wants to eat the fear and anxiety away.  The writer part of me, who is so excited about my latest project, is despondent because where oh where will i find the time to actually write????  Lots of parts... Lots of emotions.

Regardless of everything else, there is a new baby in our lives and we are grateful for the chance to know this new little one.  For now, we are taking it one day at a time.


Debby@Just Breathe said...


Anonymous said...

I have a question and I hope you won't take it the wrong way. I know your family is very religious. And I respect that and the view on artificial birth control. No argument there. But I was wondering if you practice natural birth control (timing-as much as possible, temping, ummm, pulling out. Eek). I know every child is a blessing and that's not really the issue, but your last several pregnancies have been complete surprises. You seem very torn. Absolutely loving the new life, but very uncertain about how this will all work financially, emotionally, physically, etc. Is your family of the philosophy that you will take as many children as god gives you, or is it just crazy coincidences to have all these unexpected (though not unwanted or unwelcome) pregnancies.

Michele said...

We've chosen to allow God to determine our family size. It's a huge leap of faith and while, when my cycle is normal, I am aware of fertile times, we neither have sex or don't to achieve or avoid pregnancy.

Michele said...

I'll be honest, though, it is really an exercise in trust.

Michele said...

I'll be honest, though, it is really an exercise in trust.