Robert's Day

Today marks 23 years since my brother-in-law passed away from neuroblastoma, the same childhood cancer that took the famed Alex (of Alex's Lemonade) from her family.  Back in 1987, the death rate was in the 90%s... Now, it has dropped to 50-60%.  More children in remission, more children with their families... Where they belong.

23 years...  23 years of Peter on earth without his brother and best friend, of his parents without their youngest son.  Time that I'll never get to know his laugh or his artistic sense.  Years that Bobby and Maya won't get to be read to or played with by their uncle.  It's so unfair.  So heartbreakingly unfair.

And yet...  One of the most comforting thoughts in the wake of Nicholas's death was one that Peter shared when we came home.  "He has a daddy in heaven.  Robert will be his dad until I can be there."

I've often thought and blogged about my feelings that the Blessed Mother watches over the children of the world who have died, and that I believe she will mother my babies until I am there with them.  But I have to confess that, when I imagine Robert taking their hands as they passed from my arms into the Otherworld and leading them to that Space where there is no time and where the souls wait until we meet again, I can breathe a sigh of relief that they are loved and held and taken care of by someone who loves them like I do...

Today, we will celebrate 7 years of a beautiful life and the memories that have made the last 23 years bearable with a morning Mass in Robert's memory.  And then tonight, we will have the original memorial dinner at our favorite Italian restaraunt, raising a glass to a boy who left this world a better place than it was before him...  A brother who gave his brother and sister-in-law the peace of knowing that he was there to take our children to a Home that we couldn't bring them to.

Peter (L), Robert (R)