Learning to breathe again after the deaths of my twins, Nicholas & Sophia, my son, Alexander, and 6 miscarriages... and finding joy on the journey with my sweet preemie twins, Bobby & Maya, and our miracle TAC singletons, Michael, Lucas, and Ana.
sweetie, the missing must be like a heavy blanket sometimes like skin others sometimes like breathing, sometimes like burning, sometimes like everything we want to hold and can't, like everything we can only hold for a moment.
It is odd to me how missing becomes its own presence. It can be/become almost tangible.
I wish I could do something magical and make your heart feel their presence rather than absence, but I am not that powerful. I send love to you, and to all of your precious babies.
holding you gently in my heart, even on the days you do not say you need it.
michele...this time of year, it does sneak up on us. no matter how much happy/grateful/amazing we have going on. it does get us. and you know, i'm glad it still does. they were our babies and of course we miss them, we always will. it is just hard, i know, when it catches you off guard. hugs to you. and thank you for your reply. you always know what to say to make me feel a little more normal/less crazy.
I know I miss my angel everyday... some more than others and lately Ive been feeling him more... its sad that any parent should have to experience a loss of a child. huggs
Michelle, I love reading your beautiful words and how you open your heart and share everything in it...you are a truly special person. Your babies, all of them, are blessed to call you their mother, someone who honours them and keeps them always safe in her heart if she is not able to in her arms. Thank you for everything you share, you are an inspiration xx
sweetie,
ReplyDeletethe missing must be like a heavy blanket sometimes
like skin others
sometimes like breathing,
sometimes like burning,
sometimes like everything we want to hold and can't, like everything we can only hold for a moment.
It is odd to me how missing becomes its own presence. It can be/become almost tangible.
I wish I could do something magical and make your heart feel their presence rather than absence, but I am not that powerful. I send love to you,
and to all of your precious babies.
holding you gently in my heart, even on the days you do not say you need it.
xox
kate
hugs
ReplyDeleteNo magic words, and I won't even reach for my daughter's magic wand and try to wave it.
ReplyDeleteBut want you to know that I hear you, and am rememebring you, hubby, and all of your babies in my prayers.
i was sitting here thinking the same thing...
ReplyDeletemichele...this time of year, it does sneak up on us. no matter how much happy/grateful/amazing we have going on. it does get us. and you know, i'm glad it still does. they were our babies and of course we miss them, we always will. it is just hard, i know, when it catches you off guard. hugs to you. and thank you for your reply. you always know what to say to make me feel a little more normal/less crazy.
ReplyDeleteMichele - Thinking of you. Sending mental hugs across the blogasphere.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and all of your babies.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and all your children. xo
ReplyDeleteMe too, Michelle. Me too.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Hugs.
ReplyDeletexxx
I can imagine this time of year would bring out a yearning and missing them so.
ReplyDeleteI don't have magical words to share as I am feeling similar feelings, but I can send virtual *hugs*.
*hugs*
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, and hope that our conversation did not add to your grief today. Holding you in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! I wish I could make that hurt go away. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI can't add anything more to what mekate said. I wish we could all have our babies back.
ReplyDeleteXO
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how that happens, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI understand. And I'm sorry.
I am so sorry hun and I am here for you ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteSending you so many, many hugs.
ReplyDeleteHugs & Love
ReplyDeleteI know I miss my angel everyday... some more than others and lately Ive been feeling him more... its sad that any parent should have to experience a loss of a child.
ReplyDeletehuggs
((HUGS)) Your in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteYour amazing and you give me such hope. Hugs... from Chicago. Our twins are in a special place smiling down on us.
Hey Michele, I'll say a prayer for all of you.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I love reading your beautiful words and how you open your heart and share everything in it...you are a truly special person. Your babies, all of them, are blessed to call you their mother, someone who honours them and keeps them always safe in her heart if she is not able to in her arms. Thank you for everything you share, you are an inspiration xx
ReplyDeletePraying for comfort for you!
ReplyDelete(I found your blog while hopping from one to another)
Peace.
(((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteA line from a Dan Bern Song, Chelsea Hotel, seems fitting:
New love brings back all the old loves, that you've ever had.
More (((HUGS)))